The Other Side

The New Love of My Life

2010-08-05T00:30:00.000-07:00

These are the new love(s) of my life:

Kylie and King at 3 months.

The white with brown and black is Kylie. She was born April 22, 2010 (birthday of my sister). I bought her from my landlady and got her on June 19.

The black one with the tuxedo pattern (on the chest) is King. She was born April 24, 2010. I got him a week after I got Kylie since I noticed that Kylie seems sad when I leave for work everyday.

King is very affectionate and often follows me around the house. He likes to have his belly rubbed and would often lie with his belly exposed for me to rub. Kylie, on the other hand, is more independent. She also follows me around but only after King ran up to me. Further, she would usually stop two to three human steps from me (unlike King who rans up and stays near my feet). She's seems headstrong and independent and more curious. Often, she would sit in the balcony and watch the comings and goings of vehicles and people on the street below.

King likes to bark when he wants to be let out of the playpen. He barks and barks if I'm looking. If I turn around or go out of the room, he barks, then stops when he figures I'm not letting him out. Kylie just sits there and lets King do all the barking. Why strain her vocal chords when she can just let King do all the work but share in the reward (being let out)?

Electronic numbers

2010-05-28T21:45:00.001-07:00

200+ gb of porn
132+ gb of PSP games
124+ gb of tv shows and movies
96+ gb downloading
45+ gb of movies
35+ gb of music
21+ gb of backup for office laptop
16 gb of backup for personal laptop
8+ gb of pictures
60+ gb of other files in laptop and
73 gb of other files in external disk.

Summarizes my electronic life.

Bits and Pieces

2010-05-27T05:58:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, we finally had the results of the annual physical exam taken last April 28.

Blood count: ok
Urine analysis: needs further test for UTI (hmmm, must be because of too much softdrinks)
Stool analysis: none (didn't bring a sample kasi)
Chest x-ray: ok
BMI: overweight (it's 28 which is more than the 25 maximum for men)

In celebration of having clear lungs, I smoked a cigarette.

* * * * *

I remember when I was in grade 4, our teacher was discussing parity rights (during period of reconstruction after WWII) and Pilipino Muna. Then she asked which we prefer. Understandably, almost all of my classmates answered Pilipino Muna. I kept silent thinking that to childish minds, Pilipino Muna is definitely the better policy (which maybe true). But they hadn't thought of the different contexts in which these two policies were brought about. What a precocious child I was!

* * * * *

About a month since I had my first session for root canal, my dentist called me because I haven't been back for a long time. I went there this afternoon. More drilling, x-ray, scraping, injecting fluids and putting temporary cement on my tooth. Monday will be the last session and she'll close up that tooth for good.

* * * * *

When I was in grade one, we were given our report cards for our parents to sign. I would always give it to my mother since my father's signature is "madumi" while my mother's signature is neat. Looking at my signature now (which evolved through time and which is made shorter and more "pangit" by having to sign checks), I realize my father's signature is much better to look at.

* * * * *

A highschool classmate is engaged to be married. Who would have thought that he'll be marrying. Back then, he was outwardly the gayest of our class.

(Even back then, his girl friends say he isn't gay. Maybe it's true after all).

"who cares?"

2010-05-10T07:19:00.000-07:00

"Who cares?"

This is a comment I received from an anonymous reader of my post on Andrew Knowlton.

Somehow, that comment got me annoyed, frustrated and even saddened.

In a normal (person-to-person) conversation, those two word would be quite offensive. However, in a normal conversation, there is a chance that they were uttered because it was your fault. You could be talking too much about yourself, talking of petty or unnecessary things, failing to keep the other person's attention or failing to notice that he/she doesn't give a damn what you're talking about.

For a blog, I find this comment inexcusably offensive. For one, a blog is a person's thoughts or ideas (at least mine is). It is not forced on anyone and you don't have to read what the blog says if you don't feel like it. I (or any blogger) can blog on and on and it shouldn't matter because I'm not forcing my ideas on anyone. But to comment "who cares?" on a blog that nobody forced someone to read is like insisting that someone talk to you and then rudely put them down with an "I don't care what you're talking about". So rude.

Anyway, to all commenters out there, avoid bad comments that are uncalled for.

* * * * *

The comment needed my approval before posting and I decided to approve it anyway as a reminder of how ________ (insert adjective) some people can be.

Top Design 2

2010-05-07T20:23:00.000-07:00

I downloaded Top Design season 1 (season 2 was already shown on cable TV and I have its DVD). Because of this, I was inspired again to do some makeoever of my apartment.

First part, I added some wallpaper to my dark bookcase.

The wallpaper makes the wallpaper look lighter but somehow a little more cluttered looking. I still need to learn how to style a bookcase properly.

Next top is my bedroom. This is how it looks like before:

After wallpapering, this is how it looks like:

Ok, I arranged the bed better but somehow, the white and blue stone inspired wallpaper made the room cooler (as in less heat).

I'll be adding a contrasting color on the top as a sort of "trimming". I hope it will look good.

Living Dirty Like a Bachelor

2010-04-30T06:44:00.000-07:00

Eversince I got my Smart Bro unlimited internet, I haven't done much housekeeping.

I haven't washed the dishes for almost 2 weeks. The TV console is full of dust. Some trash litter the floor. Dirty clothes are on the railing and on the chairs. Computer peripherals and cable hog the table that is pulled close to the bed (so I can surf the net and then fall asleep while or after doing that).

The thing is, I kinda like it. It's like living like a straight dirty bachelor.

Maybe I'm straight after all...

Leaving Friendster

2010-04-24T20:45:00.000-07:00

Friendster is barely surviving.

About a year ago, majority of my family and high school friends were still in friendster. I still have friendster bookmarked in my laptop.

My family discovered facebook and the joys of farmville. My high school classmates and friends somehow migrated to facebook. I reformatted my computer several times and no longer included friendster in my bookmarks.

A social networking site works only if majority of the people you know are there. It also relies on the number of its users and how often they visit and update the site. Friendster lost these.

I am now a happy facebook user and very rarely visit friendster (I think I visited friendster only today after a few months).

Friendster will die, sooner or later.

What a Shocker!!!

2010-04-24T19:16:00.000-07:00

Really, what a shocker! My eyes have been opened.

I Know Him so Well

2010-04-06T00:58:00.000-07:00

Below is a video of I Know Him so Well as sung by Elaine Paige and Barbra Dickson:

Wonderful song

Wonderful voices

Terrible hair

Terrible clothes (looks like they appear in Dynasty)

Terrible setting (they're in a disco? or just a home with neon lights? and in those clothes?)

So 80s. It's better to just close your eyes and listen rather than watch and find everything you see funny.

Clash of the Titans

2010-04-04T23:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I watched Clash of the Titans in Greenbelt 3 with my father. (He went to Manila with me last Saturday night so he can watch Clash of the Titans in 3d).

I didn't have high expectations for this movie and yet I still came away disappointed. The movie is not bad but I think other epic movies have done far far better than this.

For one, the 3D effect are so few that I believe it wouldn't have made a difference had I watched it in regular 2D. (Actually, I would be less disappointed with the movie if I watched in regular 2D since I wouldn't be expecting Avatar-like 3D. (Like most movies of large budget released after Avatar, I think Clash of the Titans added some 3D scenes to their regularly filmed movies so it can cheat customers out of more bucks).

Another thing, watching the movie makes me think that this is a ripoff of Lord of the Rings in many ways. The walk from Argos to the three witches seems like the long journey from the Rivendell to Mordor; the scense of stone-faced people riding the scorpion things are very much like the big-elephant riding mercenaries of the Battle of Gondor. (Lord of the Rings, being a great movie, ruined all subsequent epic movies).

Sam Worthington - first thought: was he cast in this movie because of his acting chops in front of a greenscreen in Avatar? Performance-wise, couldn't judge since my thought all along the movie was he was hired because of his "experience" in front of a greenscreen.

Gemma Atterton - pretty lady. Why does she have to wear a dirty (gray) mop over her one-shouldered dress?

Tony Hoult (the guy who played Eusebios) - he's kinda cute. I was wondering why he was in the movie - seems out of place. Was he put there because he is a boylet of the director/casting director/producer?

Over-all, I was disappointed. This should be watched only in 2D.

Turning 30 Next Year

2010-04-01T04:11:00.000-07:00

I just turned 29 last March 25th. Next year I'll be turning 30 and am wondering if I've done anything worthwhile in my life.

Holy week reflection, Jesus began His ministry when he was 30th and died on his 33rd year yet he made such an impact on the world.

Hopefully, it's not too late to start making an impact.

Turning 29

2010-03-25T05:09:00.000-07:00

Today I turned 29.

I'm reminded that I'm getting older and older with seemingly nothing to show for it.

I'm getting the feeling that I have not accomplished any great thing yet.

* * * * *

I'm thankful for a well-paying job that pays the bills (if I thoroughly enjoy it is another matter).

I'm thankful for a loving family.

I'm thankful for a loving bf.

I'm thankful for good friends.

And I'm thankful for being alive.

Refuge during a Zombie Plague

2010-03-07T08:51:00.000-08:00

I was looking at stuff in www.2leep.com and found this picture:

It's supposedly a hunting lodge somewhere in Iceland.

This would be perfect in a period when zombies would overrun the earth (which in my mind is like a dream I'd like to see happening). There's no electricity (but if zombies do overrun the earth, there will be no electricity since noone will man the power stations) and water is collected from the rain.

(Somewhere along the linked pages, I found this page: http://coolmaterial.com/cool-list/essential-gear-to-survive-zombie-attack/. Coincidence).

Joining Twitter

2010-03-06T03:14:00.000-08:00

I finally joined twitter.

This after months or a year of hearing about it.

I don't expect anyone to follow my twits (twits doesn't sound good).

I will also not twit each and every thing I do.

Just want an outlet for thoughts that are too short for a full blog post.

2010-02-27T19:22:00.000-08:00

After weeks of playing Locoroco 2, I finally completed my Mui Mui House:

This is considering that I have to replay the game from the start due to a saved data corruption when I updated my firmware.

Now all I need to complete the game are:

- complete Loco berries in Perculoca 1 (so hard to reach some berries) and BuiBui Fort 3 (hard to complete the stage - did it once with 19 berries)
- the minimovie and free stamp rewarded for completing the berries in the two stages above
- Getting the 4 more music for the Mui Mui House (I think by beating Bui Bui in the race in Kelapton 2, BuiBui Fort 3 and some other stages)
- Completing stamps (I think I need about 12 to 13 more stamps).

Whew! When can I finish it?

Eternal Youth

2010-02-21T03:20:00.000-08:00

Just watched Dorian Gray starring Ben Barnes (the cute long-haired guy from Narnia - Prince Caspian).

Makes me envy and want to have eternal youth. Especially if I look like him.

...

"I Hate the World Today"

2010-02-16T07:28:00.000-08:00

Today at work, I was feeling anti-social.

I disliked many things (not literal things but ideas).

The reason - I was depressed. Maybe still am. Looking for validation in my life. That it is worth living. That if and when I go, somebody will miss me and even when I leave a place, some people will remember me fondly.

(Not suicidal. I'm not passionate enough to be suicidal).

PSP Firmware Upgrade

2010-02-13T16:43:00.000-08:00

I bought my PSP slim (officially PSP 2000) about 2 years ago.

Last week, I finally was able to download some new games through the magic of torrents. I downloaded the very delightful Locoroco 2 (much better than the first), patapon 1 and 2, silent hill shattered memories, locoroco midnight carnival (demo game only as I found out). Silent Hill and Locoroco 2 did not work properly on my PSP since apparently, it was ripped from original game using the later PSP homebrews (hacked program).

Yesterday,I finally upgraded the firmware my PSP to the new one (my original firmware was 3.71 m33-2 which I upgraded to 5.50 gen-d3.

The PSP hack was quite easy to do. The website for PSP hacks have all the right links for downloading and even a video tutorial on how to do it.

Finally, Silent Hill Shattered Memories works on my PSP though very slow. The only downside was my save data for locoroco 2 (almost complete except for buibui fort 3 - 20 loco berries, 3 mui muis, 23 or 28 moja bunyos), completion of loco berries in perculoka 1 and kelapton 3, 2 stamp sheets, several stamps and a few other things. Now I have to start again on this game.

I figured this is a small price to pay for the sense of having successfully upgraded my PSP on my own.

Relic from an Artistic Past

2010-01-22T17:16:00.000-08:00

When I was a child, my artistic abilities were above that of a regular kid. In elementary, I was getting high marks in the subject called MAPE (music, arts and PE) but I was always second best to this classmate of mine (who was also gay - artistry must run in the blood). But then, I was number one in all other subjects so what's let him has glory.

I made the drawing above when I was in grade 3 or 4. I used a box of pastel crayons that my brother brought me and I copied the girl in the cover of my very first photo album.

My mother put my drawing on the inside door of their closet and somehow it has survived almost 2 decades inside that closet door. Hmmm...

Provincial Business

2010-01-09T16:58:00.000-08:00

Today is my parent's 39th wedding anniversary. So we (my older brother and sister) went home here in Quezon.

I generally do not like going back here for many reasons, among them is the boredom (there are not that many lights on the streets and the people in our house were asleep to total darkness by 9pm).

So to keep myself busy, I took advantage of the the full-time internet connection here. I was able to complete the download of the four albums of Libera, an album of Beyonce (all the single ladies! all the single ladies!) and some porn.

At least I get some personal time at home.

One of My Dogs

2010-01-09T03:55:00.000-08:00

I really want to have dog but due to space constraints in my apartment, I have to settle for a toy dog.

I'd call him Terry (coming from a Boston terrier) but I don't know if he's supposed to be a Boston Terrier. So for now, he'll just be Dog (like Cat in Breakfast at Tiffany's).

End of Year

2009-12-30T21:37:00.000-08:00

I have a rather unusual end of year experience.

Last night, I went out with college friends. We had coffee at Starbucks till 2am and when I went home, the gate to my apartment was already locked and the landlady could not be waken with my knocks. To pass time, I went to the nearby 7-11 and bought some cigarettes and a 500mL PET bottle of Coke. I went back to my apartment and knocked on the gate some more. Still no answer.

Since she normally wakes up at 4am and by that time, I still have 2 hours to kill, I decided to go to Malate and probably find some store open (don't really want to go clubbing on my own - not my scene with or without company). However, majority of the stores were already closed.

At that time it was around 3am to 330am so I still had time to kill. I decided to go to Divisoria to buy fruits. I rode a taxi and the taxi driver let me off at Reina Regente corner Jose Abad Santos, still quite some walking from the stores that sell fruits but vehicles can no longer get any further due to tiangge stalls (open 24 hours) and the trash littering the streets.

Having drunk Bailey's, San Mig Light and tall caramel macchiatto with my friends and that 500mL of Coke, I began to feel the urgent need to pee. There were no place to pee in Divisoria at the time. The malls were closed and there are no open fastfood shop.

The need to pee was so bad that I wet my pants, and I mean like possibly most of the front of my pants. I thought of just going home after a privately humiliating experience (no people seemed to have seen what I just did) before getting a public humiliation from people seeing that I have wet my pants.

Still, I came all the way there, I still have time to kill, it's still dark and people can only see you when you're only a few feet from them (thus, they'll be forced to just see the top half of the body) that I decided to just buy some fruits.

I bought kiat-kiat, seedless grapes, and red apples. I also bought a purple-leafed plant, an ornamental plant that looks like a pineapple and another plant.

Just an experience before the year ends.

Stephen Covey's Giving

2009-12-19T21:14:00.000-08:00

As part of our key result areas (KRA for performance measurement), our boss tasked us to "read" (read the book or listen to the audiobook) at least 4 management books per year. He suggested starting with Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

While listening to the audiobook, Stephen Covey mentioned that you can never truly give what you don't own. And that in order to give willingly, you must have had the feeling of truly owning what you're giving.

Flashback to highschool and college days, I remembered I was so stingy in giving things away or in giving gifts to others. Stephen Covey's words made me realize why. Growing up, I did not have many things. The few things (toys and stuff) I received or bought were few and far between. It's the sense of having few that made me cling to them more (in terms of having the stuff materially and for sentimental reasons).

But now that I have a decent job and can afford more things, I am more generous in giving gifts and stuff away. I already feel the satisfaction of "owning" things.

Covey's comment also made me think of what others would describe as rich people (especially those who grew up in well-to-do families) who are very generous to others and people who grew up poor but are now rich as stingy.

Rich people can afford to be generous because they have had the satisfaction of "owning". Some poor people cannot afford to be generous with what little they have. Others (those who grew up poor but became rich) still could not afford to be generous because they still have not had the satisfaction of "owning".

Just a Christmas-related realization from a timeless book.

My Dream Home

2009-11-14T05:06:00.001-08:00

Right now, I am seriously thinking of buying a house (a single detached or in a high-rise condominium). I have a general idea of how it should look.

It should have a balcony (for smoking of course), a kitchen island, a library or den (or at the very least shelves for my books and DVDs). Budget permitting, it would be a two-bedroom house/unit - one unit for me and the other a combined library/home office/den/guest room.

The unit will be painted in a neutral color (probably white, off-white, cream, ecru or something of a similar color) or blue with white trimmings. The house/unit will be decorated in a possibly eclectic taste but leaning more on modern contemporary.

It will have two layers of curtain - one layer of sheer fabric like chiffon to let light flow, and the other of a heavier fabric to block out the light just in case I want to be in the dark.

It would have a planned lighting scheme (a lighting scheme that will be good for my complexion) consisting of recessed lighting, pendant lamps, table and floor lamps, etc.

The last two (curtain with sheer fabric and the lighting) are most important so that whatever fornicating may occur within the house/unit, it will be art and not pornography.

I've read many times that the difference between pornography and art is lighting. And the ever controversial Rosanna Roces once said that the difference between art and pornography is chiffon.

=)

Growing Old

2009-11-14T04:48:00.000-08:00

My boss is in his mid-40s. He is already married and has three or four kids.

I remember in our various "mentoring" sessions, he advised me that I should be learning what I can about managing time, people, resources, etc. while I'm still in my 20s and early 30s. He says that by the time I get married and have kids, I will have different priorities. I guess this is true.

He also added that by the time a man (or a woman, I guess - though he did not explicitly say a woman) is in his 40s. He should already know himself and be stable in his personality. In the sense that when you are in your 40s, you should already have a "signature" scent. I'm so far from that right now. I'm using and love Lacoste Essentials, CK Eternity for Men, Bulgari Aqua Marine, Davidoff Cool Water, Pure by Hugo Boss and Polo by Ralph Lauren. Doubtless I will like more when I get a change to smell them (I generally like citrusy smells with some floral notes - the smell of freshness and summer).

I don't really know his scent or if he wears any. But it seems like he is living what he is preaching. He goes to the office like 7:30 or so every morning (I can't really check since I arrive somewhere between 8:30 am to 10:00 am), almost always light colored long-sleeved shirts and dark (mostly grays) pants (even on Fridays which is the casual dress down day).

My boss's advice got me thinking, is growing old like being a slave to habit and being boring?

Maybe he has a point, when we grow older, we have other priorities (like family) that we don't have time to think much about many stuff (vanity for instance) that by then, we should already have our "habits" that can get us through our lives despite the more pressing priorities.

I really don't know if his advice on growing old is for everybody or only for some people. But he is successful and seems happy and contented so it worked for him.

Next years I'll be turning 29, still 11 years before the 40s (or middle age) but I better start thinking about my life and the future.

The Christmas Cheer

2009-10-27T03:15:00.000-07:00

It's the -ber months and I decided to decorate my place for the Christmas season.

Confrontation Hysterics

2009-10-14T22:42:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I watched "In My Life" starring Vilma Santos, John Lloyd Cruz and Luis Manzano. It's a rare mainstream movie that features a gay couple (though they are not what the movie is about). Furthermore, the movie is decent enough in its portrayal of a gay couple (but the kiss between Luis and John Lloyd was talked about in showbiz news - it's just a kiss and not a wild sex scene ala Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal).

The movie is quite alright but I got annoyed by the confrontation scene between Vilma and John Lloyd. It's not that a confrontation scene is bad, it's just that I don't like the treatment - Vilma and John Lloyd shouting at each other, the camera focusing on their faces. As Jessica Zafra noted in her blog, Filipino drama movies have confrontation scenes where spittles fly and camera so close to the actors' faces that you may be able to see the pores of their skins.

I've never liked confrontations, in movies or in real life. Much more if the confrontation involves frying saliva, extended period of high-pitched and loud voices and camera angles focusing on the faces rather than on the body.

Yet this seems to be de rigueur in Philippine movie or TV drama (much like a picnic or an out-of-town complete with a song-and-dance number is the norm for Philippine comedies; or a shout-off [while both are holding their weapons and hiding between walls, support beams or other structures] between the main protagonist and the main antagonist is the staple of Philippine action movies).

I'm not sure if this is a cultural thing as most Hollywood movies don't have this (there may be a confrontation but are usually not treated in the same way). Some say that the Philippine movie industry evolved from theater and that maybe why some actors/actresses/directors believe that something is not drama unless there is a confrontation characterized by overacting. In theaters, you have to act more than what is normal in a real-life situation or in a movie since the play is viewed by audiences from afar (especially those in the backs). There are no close ups of these emotionally charged moments. Yet somehow in the translation to screen, the acting remains the same yet the viewer can now examine the bucketloads of tears and every imperfection in the faces of the actors.

[On a slightly related note, I remember watching several episodes of Lobo (while my family visited me here in Makati or when I go the province). The story seems good with its mythology and conflicts (haven't watched the whole series so I can't judge for real). What I don't like is how almost all characters seems to be always shouting at each other even when they are having a tribe/race meeting].

In movies, I prefer movies that rely more on music (sone or score), body language and silent tears (than on overblown emotions) to convey sadness, anguish or coldness. But then again, maybe it's just because I don't like confrontations in real life and prefer to grieve a silent grief and be lonely alone.

Fantasies

2009-10-13T00:17:00.000-07:00

Eversince I started reading (and now finished) Harry Potter books 6 and 7, I had the drive to read more and watch TV less. As a result, I've bought several books and now collecting them (and reading them). Majority of the books are speculative fiction (fantasy, horror, science fiction) such as the works of Stephen King, the books of Terry Brooks and Terry Goodking, the ever-so-hard-to-find-in-hardcover Dune books, Michael Scott's Flamel novels and some others.

I've wrote that I'd like to live in an apocalyptic world. But I think to put it more correctly, I'd like to live in a world of fantasy. Too many a times have I though ot waving and flicking my hand holding a magic wand and uttering "wingardium leviousa" (pronounced win-GAR-dee-um lev-ee-OH-sa); or raising my hand and making the flood waters or waters of Pasig River rise and form a sort of water tornado.

Eversince I was a teenager, I have often felt that I am displaced in time and/or place. I feel like I should have grown up in the United States, where personal space is valued and kids 18+ generally live on their own, or lived as an aristocrat in England in Elizabethan times, where I will not be expected to engage in the burly sport of contact sports (basketball, etc.) but in aristocratic sports of horseback riding and refined pursuits of fine arts and music.

And now, I feel like I would rather live in a fantastical world of magic, where I can command the elements to do my bidding or to fine-tune something into my whims.

Somehow, I realize that I may be on my way to having psychosis, but somehow I still believe that my overly rational mind will not allow this. Probably when I'm old, I may have Alzheimer's (God forbid).

My (sleeping and waking) dreams of fantasy is a sure sign that I'm bored with my life.

Dream of an Apocalyptic World

2009-10-08T22:17:00.000-07:00

I have several weird dreams or secret aspirations.

My secret dream occupation would be a sniper - except I'm not violent and I don't think I can carry out killing another person if I think of the family he/she will leave behind.

I also dream of being an actor in a musical play - except my signing voice is below average acceptable.

My most weird dream, however, is living in an apocalyptic world. A place where I can live in an urban center but with very very few human survivors but with modern conveniences still running (like electricity, water system and the internet). It would be a place where I can go to shopping malls and pick up any clothe I want, eat food I crave, etc. Like living in a ghost town. And then, I can finally read all the books I want, watch DVDs of movies I like (probably time enough to watch all movies in the 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die). And not having to be a slave to work (except maybe cook food sometimes) and not dependent on the turning of the earth on its axis in eating, sleeping and doing other things.

In this regard, I like reading books or watching movies about people who suddenly find themselves in a ghost town. Movies like I Am Legend (except I wouldn't want human-turned-animals hunting me), and books like the Martian Chronicles (where almost everybody went back to earth and left Mars a ghost town) and the story the Langoliers (which I just finished reading last night, except the ghost town is really the past-world and is to be eaten into nothingness by the langoliers).

I kinda liked the feeling during the time of Ondoy. I was home, I was websurfing and nothing disturbs me (except the few water drips here and there). I know that it caused a lot of deaths and devastation but somehow, something inside of me wants it to happen again, where I can just watch TV (assuming Meralco doesn't shut power) or curl up in a corner and read a good book.

Sometimes I wish I am living in the twilight zone and would one day find like 90 to 95% of the people gone (like simply vanished - I wouldn't want to have to deal with rotting corpses).

People say I am a loner. And this weird dream maybe one of the signs that they are right.

Alexis Tioseco (1981-2009)

2009-09-29T19:29:00.000-07:00

Alexis Tioseco is a Fil-Canadian film critic. I've watched him only once in a show on ANC. Just this morning, I saw a short tribute to him on the same channel. It only says he was born in 1981 and died in 2009. I thought he died because of Ondoy.

On search in the internet, it says he and his Slovenian live-in partner were killed by three men in collusion with a househelp.

I like him. First he's a little cute. But more importantly, because he is a serious film critic (editor of www.criticine.com), a profession very few practice nowadays, much more less in the Philippines.

To you Alex, may you rest in peace.

2009-09-29T01:10:00.000-07:00

Are You Gay, Bi, or Straight? Your Result: Gay Your result inticates a strong chance that you are gay. Either you already know this or your suspect it. Hopefully you are either accepting of this or working on doing so. Be proud of who you are!
Bisexual
Straight
Are You Gay, Bi, or Straight? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

2009-09-29T00:57:00.000-07:00

What type of person do you attract? Your Result: You attract Yuppies! You attract the very well-dressed, job oriented type of people. They usually have their finances together, are 'middle of the road' on most topics, generally happy with the 'main-stream' of things. If it is stability you are after, these are good people to attract, if you seek adventure, it may be time for an overhaul.
You attract geeks!
You attract artsy people!
You attract models!
You attract rednecks!
You attract unstable people!
What type of person do you attract? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

You know the Bible 100%!

Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!

Ultimate Bible Quiz
Take More Quizzes

If I Were... I am a Boy

2009-09-29T00:51:00.001-07:00

gay quizz for losers Your Result: You are a boy girls are attracted to you, but not all of them.Some people might even think your gay.People arent afraid of you but the dont make fun of you, you make friends with both genders
you are a girl
YOU ARE A MANLY MAN
gay quizz for losers Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

From the Journal: September 22, 2009 (Tuesday)

2009-09-25T18:53:00.000-07:00

About 2 am: Had residual memory of moaning. Woken up by my sister. Told me that I may be having bad dreams. Remembered telling her and/or myself that I was not dreaming. On saying this, tried to recall the time elapsed between remaining memory of groaning/moaning and being woken up. Realized that the time elapsed between the two events seemed very long and then concluded that I must have really been dreaming.

The Otherworld

2009-09-08T02:57:00.000-07:00

After finishing reading Book 6 and Book 7 of the Harry Potter series, I began searching for other "escapist" stories and novels.

I have bought books 1, 2 and 3 of Michael Scott's series, The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel, who as I've learned is a real life alchemist (and not just a fictional character of the Harry Potter books as I first surmised. I am now on book 2 of this series but stopped (since the author is still writing the 4th book and is yet to conceptualize the story of the 5th and 6th book - which means I will have to wait a few more years before the series is finally concluded).

Because of my Harry Potter fever, I began collecting books again (with time to read). I am now collecting the Dune books (I have read Dune, Dune Messiah and Children of Dune in mass paperback - I now have hardcover copies of the House Atreides, and the Butlerian Jihad), the Sword of Truth series of Terry Goodkind, and the third book of Jonathan Stroud's Bartimeus trilogy. I am contemplating buying the Charlie Bone books of Jenny Nimo but the work seems to be a shameless rip off of Harry Potter.

Last Sunday, I bought "Necronomicon: The Best Weird Stories of H.P. Lovecraft". I have read only the first few stories of the book. The book is full of stories about a cities, deities and civilizations that came before men, now long gone. The stories do not result in outright terror but I can feel a somehow different atmosphere when reading the stories.

Last night (or very early this morning), I dreamt of a series of "weird" dreams. I woke up groggily but decided to fall back to sleep again. [The dreams, though horrific in nature seems to non-threatening to me - in most of my dreams, especially those between sleeping and waking moments, I realize (while am still asleep) that what is happening is only part of a dream and that whatever happens in the dream, however terrifying, is only a dream.]

One dream I remember in particular. It is about a cemetery and people comes to visit. In my dream, I can see the people and the spirits. The twist in this event is that the spirits in the cemetery do not leave the place, they remain there and search (more like trap) a living person to be their companion forver. The search happens every November 1 when people come to visit. I just remember someone (possibly me) seeing the spirits and running away from them, knowing what they're up to. The escape involves climbing and jumping from a coconut tree to a wall, then running to a lake/body of water and hurrying after a leaving ferry.

There are also parts of the series of dreams that involves my father, some scenes in a train that stops in a sort-of a ghost town (but where there are people) very near the aforementioned cemetery (or where the cemetery is located).

I'm now wondering whether it is wise to continue reading H.P. Lovecrafts horrific and fantastical tales of the macabre.

Maybe I'll just need to avoid reading the stories before going to sleep.

Shorts

2009-08-26T23:22:00.000-07:00

The song "Nobody" is so popular today.

- Some of my staff are dancing to the tune while in the office.
- A previous officemate has this on his skype: "I want your body, your body, not you!"
- Another previous officemate has this on her skype: "I have no money, no money but dues!"

* * *

Some people have weird names for their significant other.

A guy in our building calls (based on the name in cellphone, which I saw) his sweetheart "Honey Bunchy Munchy Crunchy".

* * *

A funny skype profile message of one of my previous officemate:

"Siguro, minsan, kailangang madapa…
Bakit?
Wala lang, para eksena! Tapos, minsan, tambling naman para bongga!"

Kitchen Shock

2009-08-11T20:48:00.001-07:00

This morning as I was browsing the normal websites I visit, I saw a picture in www. apartmenttherapy.com about bad houses. (http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/dc/pity-points-whats-your-worstnew-home-nightmare-092697)

The first picture shocked me. It looks very much like the kitchen in my previous apartment I rented: the set up of the kitchen sink, the almost-similar cabinet and the dominant color pink.

I thought that this is the very kitchen I used for three or four years. I was thinking that after I left that apartment, the owners of the building decided to go full out and paint the whole kitchen pink.

Then I realize it's a different kitchen.

Artichoke Lamp

2009-08-05T20:16:00.000-07:00

I have a fondness for lamps, actually for any lighting fixtures other than a bare bulb.

Probably this stems from the fact that when I was a small child, our house was filled with incandescent bare bulb - too dim to use for reading, too unsightly to inspire creativity. Fortunately, we switched to flourescent lights, but again bare - good enough for reading, still too unsightly for inspiration.

At home, I have several lamps - one floor lamp, two table lamp, three hanging pendant lamp and two Japanese-inspired paper table lamp.

My dream lamp would be the artichoke lamp by Poul Henningsen.

Need to buy/build a house and buy this awesome lamp.

I Am My Mother's Son

2009-08-03T22:09:00.000-07:00

I am my mother's son, more than I am my father's son.

Ever since I could remember, I was closer to my mother than to my father.

When I was a kid (about 3 to 4 years old), my father was working in Nestle plant in Sta. Rosa, Laguna. My mother was a seamstress and does her work at home. While sewing clothes for people, I would sit near her and entertain myself by using her scissors (the big metal scissors) in cutting up paper and small swaths of fabric. (In elementary school and even in high school, I was bemused by some of my classmates who do not know how to properly use a scissor. The smaller hole is where the thumb should go and the larger hole would accomodate the index finger.)

When I was five years old, my mother saw a graduation/recognition ceremony of a private Christian school in our town. She was amazed at how smart the kids were and decided to enroll me the following school year (despite the fact that my father was not earning much and it costs P300 (a big amount that time) per month in tuition).

People and research say that intelligence is generally inherited from the mother rather than the father. My father spent a few months in college but did not finish. My mother did not even finish elementary school but through self study and by reading lots of Christian-related books, she is able to read and understand English. I think because of this that my parents (particularly my mother who was not privileged enough to finish formal schooling) strived to get all three of us through college.

When I was in preschool and elementary, my mother loves gardening (still does but she doesn't have the same energy to do things). The front of our house is full of bougainvillaeas, orchids, chrysanthemums and other flowering plants. (My sister tells me that when my mother was pregnant with me, she was so into gardening that the front of our house looks so beautiful, people would stop to admire it and even ask to buy some of her flowers). I guess that's why I love flowers. I have several flower arrangements in my apartment (I don't have the time and energy to actually care for living plants).

I have lots of kitchen stuff - most I don't actually use. I have potato masher, egg beater, etc. Whenever I go to Japan Home Center, I buy lots of stuff that I might need but may never actually use. Whenever my mother goes to Novo (a store that sells clothes and lots of inexpensive homewares), she never fails to buy something. When she last went to my apartment, she brought me a meat tenderizer and a metal utensil for frying. I think I may be able to use the meat tenderizer probably once or twice only. Most probably, it will be used by my sister when she visits me and cooks beefsteak (I don't like cooking beef).

Now that I am in a Top Design phase, it seems that my mother is my only supporter. While my sister says that I "do" too much to my apartment, my mother actually encourages me to go further and even offer some advice.

A very belated Happy Mother's Day and a very advanced Happy Birthday to you, Nanay.

P.S. I am not a mama's boy. I'm just closer to my mother. I guess most of gay guys are.

My mother doesn't "know" about my sexual orientation. I guess she has knows but we don't actually talk about it. Two years ago, she was suggesting I get married and have kids already. Nowadays, whenever people (relatives and family friends) would ask why I am still single and "available" (no gf), my mother would actually butt in and say that I am enjoying being single and that my father actually married her when he was 33.

I do not have a dysfunctional relationship with my mother like Norman Bates (A mother is a boy's best friend).

The End

2009-07-26T22:07:00.000-07:00

Saturday and yesterday, I watched season 8 of Will and Grace, up to the final episode. Somehow, I feel sad:

- First, I always feel sad when a TV series (especially a sitcom) that I am watching ends. I got the same feeling of sadness when I watched the series finale of Friends. This may sound cheesy, but it feels like I am losing a friend. And no matter how many times you watch the previous episodes, I know that things have to end.
- At the end of Will and Grace, Will found a partner in Vince (the cop) and they have a son, Grace remarried Leo and have a daughter, their children married, Jack inherited money and lived rich with Karen (and Rosario). Everybody found their "life partners" and they seem happy. I have a partner but I am not sure if it is for life, my parents do not know (or it is not out in the open) and I don't have a kid. Maybe I just need to get a dog.

My 104th Post

2009-07-24T01:41:00.000-07:00

This is my 104th post. I missed congratulating myself on having my 100th post (like missing the opportunity to congratulate its first and second years). Though there's nothing to congratulate myself about. Just 100++ postings of incoherent thoughts.

I have just one follower. A friend. No one else bothers to follow. Though I'm thankful to some people who have put a link to my blog in their blog.

Seems like my most popular blog is about Diego Bunuel. Through the widget I put, I can see where the people who visited my blogs are from and what specific blog entry they have been reading. In almost all areas that I zoom to, it's Diego Bunuel. Probably because there is considerably little said or blogged about him in the internet that my mediocre blog pops up near the top in google search for this hunk.

Here's to my 104th blog, and to many more incoherent ramblings. I hope that I can have focus on writing blogs (without sacrificing my already diminishin focus at work). And have more and better things and experiences to write about.

PS: After publishing this post, I realized that I have not published more than 90 entries. The 100++ post indicated in my blogger dashboard refers to all blog entries I made, some of which are still unpublished.

Anyway, here's to my 104th suck-y post!

Faux Designer Bags

2009-07-14T01:59:00.001-07:00

Last Sunday night, National Geographic TV had a special on fake designer goods.

I guess the show is being promoted to discourage people from buying fake designer goods. As a viewer and a consumer myself, I don't find the arguments convincing.

There is one guy who says that fake designer goods travel through illicit channels that may also distribute more dangerous goods (e.g., illegal or fake drugs, firearms). The show is presented in the same way, after presenting the fake designer goods trade, the show then presents the trade of fake drugs, mentions drug dealers, firearms dealer. . . as if to rub off in the viewers mind that the fake handbags, watches, shirt, etc. are related and as dangerous as heroid, fake Viagras, armalite rifles.

Fake drugs (and other items ingested by people) can kill, firearms can kill, heroin and illegal drugs destroy lives but buying a fake designer bag will not destroy somebody's life. Sure, Mr. Ralph Lauren may have to postpone buying a helicopter.

The show's most convincing argument (at least to me) is that the distribution of fake goods result in bribery (in customs or the police or politicians). But then, when I think that the people working in the Philippine custom will require some form of remuneration whether the good you are importing is legal or not, that argument breaks down.

I don't buy fake designer goods for the sake of having a bag or watch that other will think is high-end (which I would know is fake). I would rather prefer unbranded goods with good quality or design.

I read in an online article that the trade of fake goods actually benefit fashion, in the sense that the people who buy designer goods buy these goods because they are unique. And when these goods are already being faked, the designer is forced to create new designs to satisfy the customers.

I don't encourage people buying fake goods. I just don't like the way that it is being compared to illegal drugs and firearms.

The Rape of Psyche

2009-07-09T04:16:00.000-07:00

In olden times, rape doesn't mean sexual harassment, sexual harassment maybe the result of the "rape" thus, the word acquired its current meaning.

I found this wonderful painting in the Art Renewal Center website. The painting is called "La Ravissement de Psyche"

I then found this in SM:

Paintings

2009-07-06T00:53:00.001-07:00

I am now collecting art.

The first painting that I bought is one made by "James" and is an abstract representation of the Holy Family in jewel tones.

During our anniversary, I asked the BF to give me a painting instead (he asked that I give him a watch from Greenhills).

When it comes to sculpture, I like classical sculpture (reproduction of famous pieces) but when it comes to paintings, I like modern/abstract ones. It's not that I dislike classical and realistic paintings. I just don't like classical or realistic paintings done poorly. With abstract art, a slightly disproportionate head will not matter but it will be grotesque sight on a realistic painting.

Sculpture

2009-07-06T00:42:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I went to the "Second Hand Antique Shop" (sort of redundant) in Kamuning Road to buy some reproduction sculpture. I was planning on buying a small sculpture (about a food in height) of two naked bearded men wrestling. One man is holding the other's penis. I saw this sculpture the last time I went there but thought that at P3,000, it is expensive. I was willing to buy it yesterday at that price (or a few hundred less) but it was already sold (though still in display).

I had to settle to buying a reproduction of Michaelangelo's David's bust for P1,400.

Though I think the price is still a bit high, I bought it.

The BF said it looks good.

I am on the hunt for reproduction for classical sculptures (mostly male nudes or semi-nudes). I already have Auguste Rodin's The Thinker. Can't seem to find where to buy these. Antique shops is one but majority of the sculptures in antique shops are either statue of saints, statue of Buddha or statue of women/children painted gold. I want classical statues in marble (or marble finish), stone (or stone finish) or at least silver.

I looked in the internet and found a site (www.talariaenterprise.com) that sells a lot of reproduction sculptures. The prices are reasonable but it is based in the US and the freight and custom charges may more than double the landed cost. Then there's a factory in Bacolor, Pampanga that manufactures statues made of plastic resin but they are an exporter and sells in bulk.

Probably, I'll have to scour antique shops this weekend.

My Blue Jeans

2009-06-22T02:51:00.000-07:00

Back in high school (third year), I remember I don't have a pair of jeans at the start of the school year. My wardrobe consists of school uniform, some t-shirts which I wore for out-of-school functions (very few I must say) and some old clothes for home.

When I joined the COLT (Cadet Officer Leadership Training), we were required to go to school every Saturday wearing jeans and white t-shirt. Because I had none, my sister-in-law gave me a pair that belonged to her brother. It is an acid-wash 80s-style jeans (high-waisted that tapers near the bottom). Every Saturday for a few months, I would wear that pair of jeans (and only that since it was my only pair). I was eventually taken out of the program (only 18 or so went on to finish the COLT program and become commissioned officers, the rest of us became NCOs). I don't remember what happened to that pair of jeans. I don't particularly miss it as memories attached to it were not really dear to me (I don't particularly like military and other authoritarian systems. Possibly, it is because my older brother was Corps Commander and my sister was a Company Leader that I joined the training program in the first place).

Today, acid-wash jeans, high-waisted and tapered jeans are soooo out-of-style. I now have several pairs of dark denims (with regular waist and straight-cut or boot-cut). Still that pair of jeans, no matter how many I have will always be memorable (not dearly remembered but remembered none the less). May it rest in peace (whereever it may be and for whatever purpose it is being used right now).

"Top Design"

2009-06-08T22:17:00.000-07:00

I'm still not over my "Top Design" phase and still not satisfied with how my apartment looked. Last weekend, I again stayed up most of the night cleaning and rearranging stuff in my house.

The hanging lamp (shaped like a lotus flower) is an IKEA lamp (costing P2,100 in Ikea Makati retailer), the painting I bought in Greenhills a few months ago (I originally planned on buying a painting with blue and green as dominant colors for my bedroom but the allure of the jewel tones and reds made me purchase this). I covered a piece of glass found in the apartment with black sticky paper (I don't know what this is called but it is generally used for lining drawers and cabinets).

I also like some modern metal musician figures I bought from Landmark (I think about P200 each).

The black jars I bought from One Price in Waltermart Makati for P99 each. I just love jars with the metal thingy for lock. I use the three for storing my coffee sachets, coffee stirrers and iced tea powder.

I also added shelf near my refrigerator and used this to store and display my Melaware plates (they would not fit in my dish rack).

I bought the shelf wood from SM, sawed some part off to get the appropriate length. I bought the "terrace" wood from Japan Home Center, drilled holes in the shelf wood and put the "terrace columns" in the holes.

Long before I took these pictures, I realized that something's wrong with the orchid flower. Only upon looking at interior design magazines late last night did I realize that the flower needs to be bent a little (rather than pointing straight up).

Right now, I'm still not satisfied completely with the apartment. I will add another set of shelves near my bedroom door. After completing the living room/kitchen/bedroom floor, I'll be doing the top floor which has the bathroom, a walk-in closet (actually a small room where I put all my clothes) and a roofed outside space for doing laundry and as an additional storage space.

I went to Evangelista last Sunday to look for some stuff that I can use. I found nothing. Most of the items sold there are like really old, or are Victorian in style (which is not my style).

I also went to the antique arcade in Kamuning (near EDSA). I only liked some classical sculptures (head of David by Michaelangelo, a bust of a Roman Emperor or a Greek/Roman god, busts of some other Greek/Roman deities or historical people). I liked a sculpture of two bearded men wrestling but I found it too gay. The men were naked and one guy is holding the other's sizable penis in his hand. Too much of a giveaway.

When doing and reading for my "top design" work, I realized:

1. Interior design is not cheap.
2. Minimizing (or hiding clutter) is the best way to go.
3. Buying small tchotchkes is not a good practice. They clutter a space and makes a small space even seem smaller. Buy select pieces in the appropriate size. As for me, I'll just be saving to buy paintings and sculptures that I like.

This long weekend, I'll be coming back to Ikea Makati (Ikea Kamias is a big disappointment - not too many products sold), going to Dapital arcade (in QC) and probably to Megamall, Greenhills and Tiendesitas.

The "Hottest" Royals

2009-06-08T22:02:00.000-07:00

Velvet channel featured a show called on hottest royals today.

Of course, Prince Harry and Prince William are at the top but they're sooo exposed that I lost interest in them.

Among the list are Prince Andrea of Monaco (who I think is HOT). His family is worth more than the Royal Family of UK ($1.2 billion compared to $600 million of the English royal family).

Then there's this prince of Sweden (I forgot the name). Who looks good in some pictures, not in others.

Then there's Prince Azim of Brunei. He hosted a lavish birthday party in London (inviting celebrities and models), he gave a jewellery costing almost $4 million dollar to Mariah Carey, he designs luggage. These, with the way he looks, got my gaydar sounding off. It's ironic that he is called a "playboy prince". Hmmmm.

Project Runway Villains and Favorites

2009-05-14T22:04:00.000-07:00

Like any other reality shows, Project Runway has its villains:

Season 1 saw Wendy Pepper (a 40-something mom from Middleburg, Virginia). I think the biggest mistake of Wendy is having a "strategy" that involves feigning closeness with fellow designers and learning their weaknesses in the hope of using those weaknesses later in the show. Had she been in Survivor, that strategy would have worked but hey, this is a reality show that judges based on talent and creativity. It's not surprising that viewers and other contestants detest her. She went on to finish third in the final runway show.

Season 2 saw Santino Rice (a designer from Los Angeles) who has a very strong point of view - in design and attitude. He argued very strongly with Nina Garcia (fashion editor of Elle magazine) on the lingerie collection challenge. His works are edgy but sometimes (especially during the middle of the series) goes beyond the boundary of taste and commercial viability. He went on to finish third in the final runway show (behind Chloe Dao and cutie Daniel Vosovic). I think his biggest mistake is losing his point of view for his collection. He was put there on the top 3 because of his point of view as a fashion designer but he lost so much of his personality in the final show that it was boring. Also, without the rags of clothes in his clothes, the wrong fit of the garments was readily apparent.

Season 3 had Jeffrey Sabelia and Zuleman something. Jeffrey won the show while Zuleman got eliminated in the middle episodes. Jeffrey is not as villainous as Wendy and Santino but I think he lacks tact and patience. Zuleman has a very strong personality which sometimes conflicted with fellow designers.

Season 4 had Christian Siriano. He's the least villainous of all and the most talented (but needs refinement in taste). He won season 4 (which I believe handsome Rami Kashou should have won). Christian is more of annoying and tactless rather than villainous.

Except for Christian, I believe the common thread between these people are the desperation (often coupled with questionable talent) to get to Bryant Park. For Santino and Jeffrey, I understand where they're coming from: Santino had a really bad time as a designer and went serious depression after his collection (prior to Project Runway) bombed. Jeffrey Sabelia was a drug addict in his younger days and is mending his ways. For Wendy, I believe her reason is that she is the oldest among the designers and needs the chance really badly in order to get noticed before her time ends. Still this is no reason not to be nice with other designers.

Of course I also have my favorites: Kara Saun (so talented, impeccable finishing) of season 1; cutie Daniel Vosovic (season 2); humble Mychael Knight (season 3); and handsome Rami Kashou of season 4.

Guys from Project Runway

2009-05-14T21:49:00.000-07:00

I've watched Project Runway seasons 1 to 4 and I must say that I am impressed by the designers.

I particularly like two guys: Rami Kashou (season 4) and Daniel Vosovic (season 2). They are cute and talented designers and in my mind, I've already made a scenerio where they are together (like together in a romantic kind of way) and oohh, hot hot hot.

Rami Kashou is a called the master of drapery because he performs clothes with beautiful draping. He was born in Jerusalem to a Jordanian mother (a Ms. Jordan in her time) and I must say that he looks hot.

Daniel Vosovic is an America-born guy (don't know why the surname though). He is talented, young and such a cutie (I have a thing for guys who can pull off a long hair). He is such a talented designer with a refined taste level (unlike Christian Siriano who is young and talented but whose taste needs a little refinement).

Of course, there's Robert Plotkin of season 1:

He's also hot (and straight) but not as talented as the previous two.

Then there's Mario Cadenas:

He's a Venezuelan-born designer (or was he born in America but with Venezuelan roots) who was in season 1 of project runway. He got eliminated early on in the show but he's hot, owing to his Latino roots.

There are other guys who I find worth mentioning: Jack McEnroth (who had to leave the season 4 series because of HIV-inflicted health problems), Daniel Franco (claims to be straight, eliminated in first episode of season 1, went back for season 2 and eliminated but with head held high), and Ricky Lizalde (season 4).

Of course, with a show like Project Runway, it is expected that most of the guys are gay (hello! this is fashion designing) but it's ok. I love the guys just the same.

I'll be starting season 5 this weekend. Who's gonna be the hottie this time?

Household Project

2009-05-04T01:23:00.000-07:00

I finally decided not to buy a new table for my apartment. Instead I used my bed table (not sure if that is how it's called but it is used to serve as a table while you are lying in bed), removed its leg (stand) and put it on top of my two old bookcases. I bought some accessories, put curtains in between kitchen and living space and voila! Finally got a new setting.

Least Favorite State in the US

2009-04-29T22:24:00.001-07:00

The United States of America has 50 states plus the District of Columbia. I can't enumerate each of the states but I do know that of the 50 states, California has the most number of electoral votes (55 during last election) followed by Texas (I think around 34 electoral votes).

If asked about my favorite state, it will be a toss up between New York and California. Both states figure much in entertainment, both are generally liberal in attitude, both are Democrat-leaning. New York is the financial capital of the US (or even the world) while California has a nice weather.

If asked about my least favorite state, it would be a resounding Texas! for several reasons:

(a) Texas is a Republican state - I do not like Republicans because of its conservative views (on gay marriage, abortion, stem cell research) and every election, its main campaign tactic seem to be to divide the United States based on religion and morals and not on real national issues(especially now with hard right Republicans getting the upper hand in Republican leadership). I like the Democratic Party with its more liberal view on gay marriage and stem cell reseach (abortion I still do not like) and its emphasis on education, health care and culture.
(a.1) Texas is a conservative state
(a.2) Texas is generally anti-gay marriage
(a.3) George W. Bush (one of the most reviled US President) is from Texas.

(b) Texas is associated with cowboys - I do not like a society that thrives on machismo, and Westerns (movies that is - always associated with cowboys) is a patriarchal society. That's why I don't like Clint Eastwood (btw, Clint Eastwood is a Republican and supported McCain last election).

(c) Texas is rich in oil - Oil is important, but I associate oil with greedy executives, destruction of the environment (through oil extraction and carbon emission) and generally, the rise in the prices of almost everything else. (On the same note, I don't like member nations of OPEC).

(d) Texas is hot - I do not like hot places. The heat of the Philippines is enough.

Had McCain won the last election, Arizona would be my second least favorite state. It's almost the same as Texas (Republican-leaning, associated with cowboys and hot).

Tablesetting

2009-04-27T22:22:00.000-07:00

I'm still not over my "Top Design" phase. I couldn't sleep last night so I got up and prepared a table setting using my Melaware plates, white foldable plastic table, plastic sunflowers and a few other things in my house.

I made a tablesetting which is not exactly a table you will find in a regular home. Probably in a mall display, Melaware advertisement or (dreaming high) a showcase house (model units) or magazines.

Friend-ster

2009-04-25T11:32:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, friendster is the default social networking site for all the world (so popular that the site was restricted by the IT in my previous company). Then came myspace and multiply. And now facebook.

I have an account with friendster, multiply and facebook. I check facebook more or less regularly. Multiply and friendster, once in a while. Multiply and friendster doesn't seem to have much going on. For multiply, I only check and read some of my friend's posts. For friendster, nothing. Just checking for old time's sake. For me, I keep my account in friendster for old time's sake, for some friends and the boyfriend who doesn't have facebook. Seriously, does friendster have any plans for its site? Looks like Friendster now is braindead and just being kept alive by users like me for sentimental reasons. When are we going to pull the plug and let it die?

Flower Arrangements

2009-04-25T10:30:00.000-07:00

Just recently, I watched a show called "Top Design" which is a reality show like Project Runway but instead of fashion designers, the contestants are interior designers. The episode I watched is the triathlon and one of the legs of the triathlon is table setting. One of the contestants set this table arrangement:

I was inspired by the arrangements, especially by the flower centerpieces that I thought of buying a proper dining table with chairs and do a full table setting (including flower centerpieces, table runners, plates and spoons displayed on the table). However, I couldn't find a table small enough to fit in my already crowded apartment and inexpensive enough that I don't have to shell big bucks. The table I was eyeing in Shopwise was already sold out. I contented myself with doing flower arrangements. I made the following flower arrangement (or merely just flower positioning) for a foldable coffee table.

I also made a very simple arrangement of sunflowers for my room to be placed near my TV.

This afternoon while walking in SM Makati, I chanced upon this square plastic leaves and I liked the design (sort of like ivy on walls) and bought three pieces. I then bought some plastic flowers from Landmark.

On reaching home and on being free from other stuff, I made this arrangement which I am proud of (I sent a picture through MMS to a dear friend in Channel Island and to another friend). This arrangement now proudly hangs in my bedroom door.

Made me think that I am so gay to derive pleasure from arranging flowers. =)

The Mystery of the Straight Man

2009-04-24T08:58:00.000-07:00

Growing up, I knew all too well that I am different from other guys. I never liked basketball and other contact sports, I love flowers, I have more girl playmates than boy playmates, and my left foot always rose up whenever I do a badminton serve. I was extremely good in school and in my elementary school, everyone from number 2 to number 10 was a girl or one gay boy (as I remember).

Because of these, I have difficulty relating to straight guys my age. Even in high school, my close guy friends were the ones that others would doubt as straight or would simply label as gay.

As such, the straight guy has always been a mystery to me. Most of the times, when I am riding in a jeepney and there's a cute straight guy on board, I always wonder what that straight guy is thinking about. Is he thinking about sex? Is he thinking about his girlfriend/s? Videogames? Personal finances? Or is he thinking about the same things I am thinking?

I think because a straight guy is a total mystery to me, I do feel more attractive to them. And wishes that one gorgeous straight guy would fall in love with me and we would spend romantic days together. Just wishes and dreams. They will never come true. And I don't want to set up a scholarship fund just for it to come true. I only want to be romantically involved with someone I consider an equal or just a little bit better: intellectually, financially, but a lllooootttt better physically. I can dream...

Dream Interpretation

2009-04-23T22:19:00.000-07:00

In my search to understand what my recurring dreams mean, I found in google this site (www.dreammoods.com) which I found to be somehow accurate and helpful.

=RECURRING DREAMS==========================
Most dreams contain messages that serve to teach us something about ourselves. Unfortunately many a times we forget what we dream about as we go about our daily routine. With recurring dreams, the message may be so important and/or powerful that it just will not go away. The frequent repetition of such dreams forces you to pay attention and confront the dream. The dream is trying desperately to tell you something. Such dreams are often nightmarish or frightening in their content, which also helps you to take notice and pay attention to them.

Recurring dreams are quite common and are often triggered by a certain life situation or a problem that keeps coming back again and again. These dreams may recur daily, once a week, or once a month, but whatever the frequency, there is little variation in the dream content itself. It usually points to a personal weakness, fear, or your inability to cope with something in your life - past or present.

The repetitive patterns in your dream can reveal some of the most valuable information on yourself. It may point to a conflict, situation or matter in your waking life that remains unresolved or unsettled. Or some urgent underlying message in your unconscious is demanding to be understood.

This seems to be so true since my dreams these days have become recurring with some strong identifiable elements. Considering the elements and their interpretation makes everything spot on.

=BEING NAKED=====================================
So you are going about your normal routine - going to work, waiting for the bus, or just walking down the street - when you suddenly realize that you are stark naked. Dreaming that you are completely or partially naked is very common. Nudity symbolizes a variety of things depending on your real life situation.

Becoming mortified at the realization that you are naked in public, reflects your vulnerability or feelings of shamefulness. You may be hiding something and are afraid that others can see right through you. Metaphorically, clothes are a means of concealment. Depending on the type of clothes you wear, you can hide your identity or be someone else. But without them, everything is hanging out for all to see. You are exposed and left without any defenses. Thus your naked dream may be telling you that you are trying to be something that you really are not. Or you are fearful of being ridiculed and disgraced. Such anxieties are elevated especially in situations where you are trying to impress others. Perhaps you are in a new work environment or in a new relationship. You may be expressing fears or apprehension in revealing your true feelings in such situations.

Nudity also symbolizes being caught off guard. Finding yourself naked at work or in a classroom, suggests that you are unprepared for a project at work or school. You may be unprepared in making a well informed decision. With all eyes on you, you fear that some flaw will be brought to public attention. You fear that people will see through your true self and you will be exposed as a fraud or a phony.

Often times, when you realize that you are naked in your dream, no one else seems to notice. Everyone else in the dream is going about their business without giving a second look at your nakedness. If this happens in your dream, then it implies that your fears are unfounded; no one will notice except you. You may be magnifying the situation and making an issue of nothing.

If you dream that you are proud of your nakedness and show no embarrassment or shame, then it symbolizes your unrestricted freedom. You have nothing to hide and are proud of who you are. The dream is about a new sense of honesty, openness, and a carefree nature. Perhaps you are trying to get to the �bare facts�. Alternatively, the dream may be telling you that you are drawing the wrong kind of attention to yourself. You want to get noticed, but are going about it the wrong way.

This is so true. I have been secretive of my other life (being in the closet) that there are very few people with whom I have confided this (less than 10). For the longest time, I have this apprehension that sometime I will be found out, especially by my family members. Of course I know that they know (my mother stopped asking about me getting married and in some cases have to come to answer others' queries on when I will be married) but we have not talked about it. As of now, I am still anxious of having a confrontation with my family where they will ask me pointblank if I'm gay or not.

Somehow, this inability to share a very important part of me with others has impeded my ability to be closes to other people. Of course I have my reasons, among them that I come from a religious family and that I work in accounting, a generally conservative and competitive field but is filled with so many gays (I mean, all the major accounting firms must have a higher-than-average gay percentage).

=TEST DREAMS====================================
To dream that you are taking an exam, indicates that you are being put to the test or being scrutinized in some way.�Such dreams highlight your feelings of being anxious and agitated. You may find that you cannot answer any of the questions on the test or that the test is in some foreign language. Is time running out and you find that you can not complete the exam in the allowed time? Or are you late to the exam? Does your pencil keep breaking during the exam? Such factors contribute to you failing this test. These dreams usually have to do with your self-esteem and confidence or your lack of. You are worried that you are not making the grade and measuring up to other people's expectations of you. You may also experience the fear of not being accepted, not being prepared, or not being good enough. You feel nervous, insecure and tend to believe the worst about yourself.

These dreams also suggest that you may feel unprepared for a challenge. Rarely, are these dreams about the content of the test, but rather the process and how you are feeling during the exam taking process. Generally, you feel distressed and frustrated. These feelings may parallel how you are feeling in a particular challenge or situation in your waking like.

Dreams of this nature are also an indication that you are being judged and this dream is a signal for you to examine an aspect of yourself that you may have been neglecting and need to pay attention to. You may harbor some guilt because of your neglect in preparation for a school exam, meeting, business project, or some challenge. Most of the time, though, people who have such dreams are unlikely to fail a test in real life. This dream goes back to their fear and own anxiety that they may not meet other's standards of them. They are afraid to let others down.�

This is again true. In some of my recurring dreams, I have school test which I will always be late for, or which I will completely miss. I guess this has something to do with how I feel about my present job, where I am always late in coming to the office, and sometimes missing importatn meetings with our corporate office. I also feel that somehow, I do not live up to the high expectations of my boss, no matter how much he doesn't show it (he's not very expressive).

Recurring Dreams

2009-04-23T21:57:00.001-07:00

Today I woke up late again. Before I woke up and during the time between wakefulness and sleep, I had a dream. This is a different dream from my previous ones but there are some recurring elements:

- I dreamed that again, I am looking for a place to take a shower. This is the element that is usually present in my dreams. Before, I was looking for a place to take a shower in a place with thick walls (similar to Intramuros) and I couldn't take a shower near a manual deepwell pump. This time, I've been through several houses and somehow couldn't find a place to take a shower. Maybe it's because I take a bath in the nude and I have issues baring my body. Or maybe it's because I don't like taking a bath in the morning (after I wake up).

- I dreamed I was looking for a job. In my dream, it appears like I already have no job and was looking for one. It's weird that in the dream, I was considering applying for work in SGV. What's weirder is that in the dream, I got a job working for a Chinese lady (what specific job, I don't know but somehow it is manual - probably like lifting merchandise to and from warehouse to their stores or customers' vehicles). Really weird.

- I was wearing a trench coat. It's double-breasted, yellowish brown and in a plaid pattern, with some circular discoloration due to the gold-colored metal buttons. The trench coat appeared to be a female's and I was wearing only shorts and a shirt underneath it so I (in my dream) noticed how unfashionable it was of me to wear a trench coat with shorts and not long pants.

- I was looking for a house (and trying to find a place to shower in different houses). I've been to several houses, including a concrete townhouse probably owned by the Chinese lady I work for. Most probably this is just a dormitory for their workers. The other house is the old house of our neighbor, which was torn down because the owner wanted to sell the lot and they couldn't buy it. The house was made of wood (the type of wood slats found in old houses which are interlocking). The house was twice or thrice the size of the actual house owned by our neighboors and the interior is very dark, as if the house was made from mahogany or other hardwoods.

Somehow these dreams are unsettling, especially the element where I was looking for a job. If it includes me looking for a new job, it's ok but I was looking for a job (unemployed at the time I was looking for work).

Princess Princess D

2009-04-22T22:18:00.000-07:00

I recently bought this anime/manga series from Makati Square. It's a drama starring real people (as opposed to animated characters) called Princess Princess D.

The plot is set in an all-male school in Japan where it is a tradition that freshmen are chosen every year to be the school's princesses. These guys would dress up as princesses and attend some school functions, visit clubs and basically be the school's crushes. In return for being princesses, the guys would receive free uniforms, free school supplies and even some allowance. A little bit of a stretch of imagination but still acceptable, especially if you come from the Philippines where education is held in high regard but not everyone has the resources to finish school.

The Princess system is implemented by the Student Council. The real story begins when a new guy enrolls in the school. He's a guy who walks slowly, snaps his fingers while he walks and basically what you would consider a cool guy. He becomes so popular that the Student Council President and his cohorts distrusts him. And they were right, this new guy plans to change the schools tradition and "set up fireworks". I find this intriguing, until I found out what his plans were. On the day that the Princesses were having their "Princess Hour" show (during lunch time - as a way to reestablish their waning popularity), this new guy shuts down electricity to the room that the Princesses were broadcasting their show from and ta da! comes up with his (and two other guys') own show as . . . DARK PRINCESSES. What?!

From then on, I lost interest in the series and fast forwarded to the end. Having some guys dress up as princesses is a little bit of a stretch. But having a new popular guy try to bring down a school tradition by becoming a Dark Princess is too much of a stretch. He could have invited girls to the school during school events and functions, but no. In the end, it turns out that the new guy is a brother (or a half brother) of the student council president and they have some dramatic confrontation but I lost interest and didn't bother to understand what it is all about.

This is a story that can only come out of the anime/manga of Japan.

The free iPersonic Personality Test

2009-04-21T01:41:00.001-07:00

The Weekend

2009-04-19T21:57:00.000-07:00

This weekend is somehow different from previous weekends. The boyfriend went to Rizal, hence we did not see each other.

I asked my high school friends to go out on Saturday and spend the night in my house. We went to Mall of Asia and I treated them to Coffee Bean and iMax. It was my first time to watch a movie in iMax (it was showing Monsters vs. Aliens) and I was amazed!. The movie is just so-so as expected from Dreamworks but it was the 3D effects that wowed me. Amazing. It looks like everything is three-dimensional so when the planets, asteriods and space ships were shown, it looks like they're really floating. And the flying leaves and hurtling asteriods made my wince as it feels like they're about to hit my face.

Then Saturday night we just spent watching Meet the Spartans (a movie that I've already watched and doesn't recommend since I think it's corny but they wanted to watch). It's more fun to watch a movie with friends. The jokes, albeit corny, seems funnier when there are others watching with you.

My friends left early Sunday morning and I spent most of Sunday drifting in and out of sleep (I'm not accustomed to sleeping with others on my bed). I went to SM hardware and bought an aircon filter and an extension that will work with a 1900W aircon unit (I bought an extension power chord with 2500W for Php749.75 - too expensive). Then I bought some more of those orange square-ish Melaware plates from SM department store.

I finally got the aircon to work properly with the new filter and an extension chord that doesn't overheat. I realized just how humid the weather is when I needed to throw away the accumulated water in the unit. In just 4 to 5 hours use of the unit, the water container is already full of about 2 liters of water. No wonder I feel really uncomfortable in this weather.

I rearranged some stuff at home so now I have a sort of coffee table with square ottomans on each side. I really want to buy a house or a condo so I can start doing some interior design work ala-Lifestyle network.

Oh well, that's it. Hoping for a good workweek and an exciting weekend.

The Amazing Susan Boyle!!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-17T20:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, as in most days, I check the news in Yahoo home page and there was a video of Susan Boyle. I clicked on it and boy was I amazed!!!!

I normally don't go for superlatives but she deserves all the exclamation points!!!! I love musical, particularly Webber's and Boublil's/Schonbergs so it is no surprise that I immediately adored her.

For most people, admiration for Susan comes from surprise. You wouldn't expect THAT VOICE from someone who looks like her (she actually looks more like Mme. Thenardier), 47, unemployed and had mental disability during childhoold. For me it's not that she has a good voice, she performed the song so extraordinarily well. Comparable or even better than Ruthie Henshall's wonderful performance of the song during Les Mis' 10th Anniversary Concert. Yesterday, I thought Ruthie Henshall's version was still better but on going home, I popped my DVD of the Les Mis' anniversary concert and got to watch Ruthie's version. Now I am convinced that Susan's version is as good or even better. Ruthie's version is more emotional (as you'd expect when the song is sung within the play) but Susan's version is SOULFUL.

Kudos! Kudos! Because of Susan, it renewed my interest in Webber, Boublil/Schonberg and other musicals.

I'm expecting greater things for and from Susan Boyle.

Holy Week Reflections

2009-04-09T18:51:00.000-07:00

Today is Maundy Thursday. I just turned 28 and realized while typing the first sentence that I do not know what "Maundy" means. So I used the Ctrl+Alt+W to open wordweb. I then got this definition:

Maundy - (United Kingdom) a public ceremony on Maundy Thursday when the monarch distributes Maundy money.

After this useless attempt to find out what maundy means, I googled it and came across the wikipedia page for Maundy Thursday. It explains that the term maundy comes from latin "mandatum" which means commandments and that the Pope actually uses "Holy Thursday" or "Great and Holy Thursday", instead of "Maundy Thursday".

After all these searching on what Maundy means, I realized that today is actually Friday and not Thursday!

++++++++++++++

Oh well, Holy Week spending with my family here in Quezon. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I rarely go here, so Holy Week is one the few times of the year that I have to go home, or lack enough excuses on not going home. It's not because I don't like spending time here, it's just that I don't have a personal space here. I don't have my own room, don't have my own bed and with four kids running around, I don't get my peace. It's a big deal considering that I live alone in an apartment in Makati.

++++++++++++++

Just this week, Tuesday and Wednesday, I was too lazy to do any work done, and instead began reading blogs. I started with the usual blogs that I read then click the list of blogs on their side bar. Then on and on, it's like networking for blogs.
While doing this blognetworking, I realized that there are lots and lots of blogs here in the Philippines that are written by PLU. And each has his own story or stories to tell, nevermind that some of them have their sex stories to tell, in such detail, some even with pictures.

On realizing this, I begin to think that what I am writing in my blog can be considered utter nonsense (a drop of water in a big pond), especially compared with what others post. I don't have enough experience of falling in and out of love. I do however, have made some people fall in and out of love with me. But then it's their story to tell.

I have a dozen or a baker's dozen worth of sexual partners (in varying degrees from just kissing and heavy petting to hardcore sex) but I'm not one to kiss and tell. I don't feel good telling the juicy details of what happened with each and everyone of my sex partners, especially since most of my previous sex partners are still friends (good friends or friends who I haven't communicated with for some time).

Well, this blog is an expression of what I feel like writing and not necessarily written to detail my exploits. This blog is for me. This blog is not for others.

SOP

2009-04-05T21:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, while looking at the files in the boyfriend's cellphone, I noticed two recorded conversation in his phone. He bought the phone second hand (almost new) from Greenhills and the phone conversation was there when he bought the phone.

Turns out the phone conversation is an SOP between two young-ish guys. One is Dennis and the other one is unnamed. One lives in Quezon City and the other lives in Makati.

They were talking of what they would do to each other. They came twice and thinking of cumming a third time. The third time was not recorded in the phone. Hmmp!

These people, so careless of what they put on their phones. If I were an indecent guy, I could have posted these files online. What more if they left sex videos!

Tarot Card: Hermit

2009-04-04T04:50:00.000-07:00

I took this test and found out that I am a Hermit. Some qualities of the Hermit do apply to me. Some do not. Hehe

You are The Hermit

Prudence, Caution, Deliberation.

The Hermit points to all things hidden, such as knowledge and inspiration,hidden enemies. The illumination is from within, and retirement from participation in current events.

The Hermit is a card of introspection, analysis and, well, virginity. You do not desire to socialize; the card indicates, instead, a desire for peace and solitude. You prefer to take the time to think, organize, ruminate, take stock. There may be feelings of frustration and discontent but these feelings eventually lead to enlightenment, illumination, clarity.

The Hermit represents a wise, inspirational person, friend, teacher, therapist. This a person who can shine a light on things that were previously mysterious and confusing.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Reality TV

2009-04-02T23:08:00.000-07:00

Having cable TV connections now, I get to watch many shows. I am particularly fond of watching shows on Maxxx (targetted at male audiences), Velvet (targetted at female audiences), Lifestyle (channel for cooking, fashion, design, etc.) and Asian Food Channel.

Watching Velvet made me realize how much "reality" shows there are in the US. Some reality shows are ok and I am willing to watch. For example, Survivor (the challenge parts), Amazing Race, American Idol and other talent search shows. But what I cannot understand are those reality shows where the camera just shows a bunch of people in one house (Big Brother) or just one people (reality shows of celebrities).

It's Complicated - Denise Richards
Living Lohan - Ali Lohan
Keeping Up with the Kardashians - Kim Kardashian and her family
A new reality show of Paula Abdul
A reality show of Pamela Anderson
The show of Kimora Lee Simmons(?) - an eventologist that I never heard of before I saw her show on TV

I can understand some "reality" shows where people go through challenges to achieve immunity or to win a million dollar, but a reality where you just watch a bunch of people sit and do crazy stuff while locked inside a home is just too much. The same for watching a reality shows that just follows a celebrity through their everyday lives.

Their lives are not that interesting anyway.

And I just noticed that most celebrity reality shows feature female celebrities. Female celebrities seem to be more willing to flaunt their lives on TV or they have more money to pay for a TV station to show their lives on screen, or they crave more attention that they want their lives on TV.

Anyway, some reality shows do have some impact. Without Pinoy Big Brother, we wouldn't have BB Gandanghari.

*****

If my life were turned into a reality show. It would be really boring. It would start with me waking up at around 7 or 8 am, dawdling and watching TV, getting to work late, doing some "work", going out of the office at around 6 to 7pm, going to Japan Home Center or Shopwise, going home, watching TV, jerking off, then going to sleep. Weekends would be a little different with the boyfriend coming over.

The Earth Hour

2009-03-29T22:08:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday (March 28) at 8:30pm to 9:30 pm around the world, people have been encouraged to support the earth hour by switching off lights and other non-essential appliances. The Earth Hour is supported by various organization and cities across the world.

I became aware of this one-hour lights off event while watching National Geographic Channel. And on Friday, a coworker of mine sent me a text regarding the event.

I had every intention of joining this event and planned on switching off lights and other non-essential appliances (my TV) but on that particular night, I was so tired from going to Uratex in Quezon City, going around with my brother and doing some work that I totally forgot about this. What's worse, I fell asleep before the appointed hour, leaving my TV, my electric fan, my refrigerator and lights on. And this went on until I woke up the following morning (about 4am). Not only was I not able to join the event, the hour passed with basically all of my electricity-using appliances turned on.

Not that I don't support the environment. I do my part in my own small way, like avoiding having my purchases put in plastic bags when such is avoidable. But being in the Philippines and paying one of the highest electricity charges in Asia, I find it ironic that we are being told to conserve electricity (even by Meralco) to minimize the amount that we have to pay (this being true). However, as a whole (I mean all consumers in the Philippines taken together), we are paying to the power-producing plants for electricity that is not being produced and distributed because of contracts that the government entered into (during the blackouts of the Ramos administration).

On my part though, conserving electricity is still a good way to save money. If my electricity bill is at or a below a certain kilowatt-hour, I see a deduction in my electricity bill for "subsidies" while if I consumed electricity above that level, I will be subsidizing others for their electrical bills. Better that I am subsidized by others AND help minimize electrical production (not sure if my saving electricity will have an impact on total production).

28th Birthday

2009-03-24T20:07:00.000-07:00

Today is my 28th birthday.

Hurray that I've made it this far and hoping for more years to come.

Wishing for a better health, more wealth and more good friends.

:-)

Birthday Blues

2009-03-22T19:57:00.000-07:00

I woke up today like in so many other days before. I dawdled, watched some TV before getting the resolve to take a shower and go to work.

While I was showering, I realized that in 2 days time, will be my 28th birthday. Goodness I'm old!

For me, growing old is not bad, it's good. It's just that growing old without having some sense of accomplishment. I wouldn't say that I have not accomplished anything. I have a decent-paying job. I can manage to live independently, etc. But I do feel that something is still missing.

Maybe it's just the birthday blues. I'll feel better once my birthday is over.

Andrew Knowlton and Long Hair

2009-03-19T21:33:00.000-07:00

I must admit that I'm a sucker for guys with long hair. Actually, I'm attracted to guys with good-looking hair. I guess it's because I don't like my hair. I have a full head of thick hair but with very small strands. It's not jet black and shiny, rather more like very dark brown with some frizz, especially when I don't wear any hair products.

On long hair, what attracts me more to them are the fact that some guys can carry it while others (including me) cannot. First of all, a guy has to have a face and body proportion to do this. A head too big for the body (like me) would only be too noticeable with long hair.

Andrew Knowlton is the editor of Bon Appetit magazine and he frequently judges Iron Chef America (that's how I first saw him). He's not that gorgeous, but given the right angle and lighting, he is cute. And he's got long hair!

Watching the Lifestyle Network and Asian Food Channel made me have a crush on some food guys with long hair, including Andrew Knowlton, Jamie Oliver (I don't know why he is called the Naked Chef, I mean he's always fully clothed) and chef at home dad Michael Smith (not handsome but there is something very manly and comforting about the way he cooks and speaks. Also, i love his fabulous kitchen, with a room - bigger than my room - just for stocking spices and other cooking ingredients).

Life as I Know It

2009-03-11T23:06:00.000-07:00

Updates:

Whereas in the previous year or two, I was collecting DVDs (which by now must have cost more than P90k), I am now into buying household stuff (kitchenwares, organizers, home accessories, etc.)
My idea of relaxation now is to go to Japan Home Center and go through each rack of cheap but good quality home things.
I'm still bored with work.
I still come to work late.
I am now into watching "The Golden Girls", finally a series to watch. I've watched Friends too many times already. Writing of the Golden Girls is quite similar to Friends. I have finished watching season 1 and am almost halfway through season 2.
I bought a 3-in-1 shredder (shreds paper, CD and credit card) from CD-R King yesterday (P990). I spent last time shredding paper (mostly credit card billings) and cleaning the house (the paper shredder turns off automatically after sometime to prevent overheating). I now have a large plastic bag full of shredded paper.
I finally had the resolve to decrease drastically my smoking. Before I have a 2 cigarettes before work (one while in the toilet and another while walking to work), 1 or 2 during my morning break, 1 or 2 during lunch time, 1 to 3 during the afternoon, 1 while walking to the tricycle station on going home, and about 2 to 4 at night while watching TV/DVD. Yesterday, I only had 1. Today, so far only 1 cigarette and I do not intend to smoke another stick.
I realized the key to decreasing smoking for me is not to have a stock of cigarette in the office or at home.
Instead of smoking, I resolve to clean my house everynight to alleviate my restlessness from the decreased level in nicotine.
I am now restless since my body is not used to such low level of nicotine yet.
I did not go to work yesterday. I went to Japan Home Center yesterday (spent P1000+ on some garbage bin, plastic ware, colored pencils, fancy scissors, etc.) then went to CD-R King Waltermart to buy the paper shredder.
I'm still looking for a cheap steering wheel that I can use for my PS-2. I want to play driving on my PS2 so I can get my license and be confident on driving a real car. The steering wheel lent by my brother is so hard to use, it is actually easier to drive a real car than play a PS2 game with using that steering wheel.
CD-R King has several models of the steering wheel for computer games with prices ranging from P680 to P980, no luck finding a branch that still has stock.
I am thinking of buying a wall fan for my room, so that no valuable floor space is wasted by my electric fan.
I want to buy a drill to install the wallfan and to do other home projects. The wallfan will cost probably around P1000, the drill to install it would probably cost as much.
I don't know to maximize space at home while keeping most of my stuff on the second floor of my house. Third floor is just for the bathroom/toilet, room used solely for keeping all my clothes and a roofed terrace for doing the laundry (which my mother does when she visits my) and keeping all the boxes from all the stuff that I buy.
I have a satellite dish and a cable connection. I am paying P200 per month to share the SkyCable line with the tenants. I bought a satellite dish with DMBox converter for P3,800. I don't use the satellite dish. The channel lineup and video quality of SkyCable is so much better than those obtained by using the satellite dish.
I'm thinking of buying a P3,400 telescope from Makati Square. It's supposed to be for looking into space. Maybe I can now look into the scarred face of the moon that has for so long been compared by poets to the face of their beloved.

Mamma Mia!

2009-03-05T07:48:00.001-08:00

I just finished watching Mamma Mia! and I was just so inspired to write about it. The movie is sooo blog-worthy.

Ok so most people know about Mamma Mia! That is a movie (based on a musical play) consisting of ABBA songs.

I do not intend to write a review of this movie. Just some observations.

First of all, if you are a fan of or at least familiar with Filipino movies, where near the end of the movie - just before the climax - the lead male comedian/s will ask his/their love interest to an outing/picnic, you will not be alienated by this movie. As a matter of fact, this movie has three of this. Being set on an island and being a musical movie, the stage is set just for this scene. Where the leads will sing a song, do a dance number and random people who are there by chance just get to sing along and dance in a choreographed manner knowing all the lyrics and dancing all the moves.
Despite being a musical movie, this movie is not in the tradition of Phantom of the Opera, Chicago or even Moulin Rouge, where accomplished singers (or actors with good voices) sing the songs. Pierce Brosnan, Dominic Cooper and the other lead cast are not accomplished singer. In fact, the movie seems to go along like a succession of listening and watching the actors do a sing-along karaoke to ABBA tunes. Even Meryl Streep (who said that she would rip Madonna's throat if Madonna gets the part in Evita, where Meryl also auditioned) is not that good a singer.
The movie seems not to be a well-thought, well-studied movie. The actors/actresses (even the great Meryl) didn't seem to have prepared much for their roles. For instance, Pierce Brosnan and Colin Firth didn't seem to have prepared their bodies for baring them onscreen. Only Dominic Cooper seems to have buffed up (yuuummmy!) for his role. Though I must say Amanda Seyfried looks stunning in her wedding dress, with her blonde her and tanned skin, absolute beautiful.
The movie seems to be just actors having fun not minding that someone is filming them. Even so, the actors' state of mind during filming absolutely shows to the audience.
The guys (extras) are gorgeous, with their nice bodies and tanned skin. Take away the lead cast and you could have mistaken this for a movie directed by Federico Fellini, what with all those Italian/Greek-looking guys and old woman.
The church is beautiful, or rather, the setting of the church is beautiful.
Meryl Streep is so different in this movie. She is so vibrant and full of youth that it was jarring at the beginning. Its somehow hard to reconcile Meryl, the dramatic actress, with Meryl, the singing, dancing, jumping and gushing single mother in the movie.

Ok, that's just about it.

Lowery's Benediction

2009-01-22T01:46:00.000-08:00

Last Wednesday early morning, I watched (with millions all over the world) as America inaugurates its first African-American President.

I found that the highlight of the event was the benediction by Rev. Lowery. It's not just the words that makes his prayer powerful, but also the way he spoke it - a voice quivering with old age but full of wisdom.

=========================

God of our weary years, God of our silent tears, thou who has brought us thus far along the way, thou who has by thy might led us into the light, keep us forever in the path, we pray, lest our feet stray from the places, our God, where we met thee, lest our hearts, drunk with the wine of the world, we forget thee. Shadowed beneath thy hand may we forever stand -- true to thee, O God, and true to our native land.

We truly give thanks for the glorious experience we've shared this day. We pray now, O Lord, for your blessing upon thy servant, Barack Obama, the 44th president of these United States, his family and his administration. He has come to this high office at a low moment in the national and, indeed, the global fiscal climate. But because we know you got the whole world in your hand, we pray for not only our nation, but for the community of nations. Our faith does not shrink, though pressed by the flood of mortal ills.

For we know that, Lord, you're able and you're willing to work through faithful leadership to restore stability, mend our brokenness, heal our wounds and deliver us from the exploitation of the poor or the least of these and from favoritism toward the rich, the elite of these.
We thank you for the empowering of thy servant, our 44th president, to inspire our nation to believe that, yes, we can work together to achieve a more perfect union. And while we have sown the seeds of greed -- the wind of greed and corruption, and even as we reap the whirlwind of social and economic disruption, we seek forgiveness and we come in a spirit of unity and solidarity to commit our support to our president by our willingness to make sacrifices, to respect your creation, to turn to each other and not on each other.

And now, Lord, in the complex arena of human relations, help us to make choices on the side of love, not hate; on the side of inclusion, not exclusion; tolerance, not intolerance.
And as we leave this mountaintop, help us to hold on to the spirit of fellowship and the oneness of our family. Let us take that power back to our homes, our workplaces, our churches, our temples, our mosques, or wherever we seek your will.

Bless President Barack, First Lady Michelle. Look over our little, angelic Sasha and Malia.

We go now to walk together, children, pledging that we won't get weary in the difficult days ahead. We know you will not leave us alone, with your hands of power and your heart of love.
Help us then, now, Lord, to work for that day when nation shall not lift up sword against nation, when tanks will be beaten into tractors, when every man and every woman shall sit under his or her own vine and fig tree, and none shall be afraid; when justice will roll down like waters and righteousness as a mighty stream.

Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to get back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man, and when white will embrace what is right.

Let all those who do justice and love mercy say amen.

AUDIENCE: Amen!

REV. LOWERY: Say amen --

AUDIENCE: Amen!
REV. LOWERY: -- and amen.

AUDIENCE: Amen! (Cheers, applause.)

END.

The Kitchen and the Gay Guy

2009-01-18T21:11:00.000-08:00

Last Friday I went to Landmark's third floor, where they sell kitchen and other home stuff. I went there to buy some glass bottles where I can put all my kitchen ingredients and materials, like white sugar, brown sugar, confectioner's sugar, etc.

I noticed that many of the people there are actually gay guys, going through the display racks and buying cooking materials. Of course, there are the straight gals and guys buying pots and pans, plates, etc. but most of them went there to buy something: they pick up what they went there to buy, pay and leave. Majority of those that linger are actually gay guys or straight gals - people who would buy souffle dish or cake serving plate because of the nice gloss and it will make serving cooked food look good, or the different types of kitchen glass containers to hold dry ingredients just because it will make the kitchen look good. Wait, that's me.

Oh well, I'm gay and I love watching cooking shows. Nevermind, that I don't know how to cook many recipes. What's important is that my kitchen will look fabulous.

Transient Lives

2009-01-13T23:51:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, after lunch and during yosi break, two of my officemates, a Chinese-Panamanian and a Filipino who loves cars, were talking about the price of gasoline and cars. Then, the Chinese-Panamanian said that if he is staying here in the Philippines, he would buy this particular model of car (being not interested in cards, I forgot the model).

Early evening last night, I went to Shopwise to do some grocery. While there, I bought the sort of indoor grill and was searching for a pepper mill. On the way home, I thought of how I am buying stuff for my apartment considering that I am only renting there and may move to a new apartment in the future, thus having to move a lot of stuff. Then, how I thought the boyfriend told me that I shouldn't buy this wall fan that I need since I still do not own a house. (My good friend told me that I was nesting). I then thought of whether I would be buying household stuff or not if I were living and working abroad, just like most of my college friends.

I realize that for people, buying household stuff is part of settling down. Only done when we feel that we are no longer transients on a place. And even then, buying stuff is not necessarily a priority even if people own a house. Only when people have families do we buy household stuff. Maybe this is settling down.

How people define transience and permanence is relative. A year or two for some might be considered relatively permanent while for some, several years may still be considered temporary. This reminds me of Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany's. She has been living in her apartment for quite sometime but she her stuff are still in boxes.

Looking at some religions, many would say that life on earth, no matter how short or long, transient, hence, there is no need to acquire material wealth while living, or to spend on things while alive. Some cultures scrimp while living and splurge on funerals and on tombs. Christianity teaches that whatever we acquire in this world will not matter in the afterlife, and that we should not be stocking on material riches but on spiritual riches, which we will enjoy for eternity after we die. For Buddhism, we live this life, acquire whatever karmas and then reincarnate and live another life based on the karma we acquire.

No matter how transient our life is, I guess all we can do is enjoy life as it comes and life as it lasts. Starting now.

Burn After Reading

2009-01-12T20:53:00.000-08:00

Past 12 midnight last night, I watched Burn After Reading. I guess the title comes from notices contained in top-secret documents (like "This message will self-destruct in 5 seconds").

The film by the Coen Brothers has an ensemble cast of George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Tilda Swinton, John Malkovich and Frances McDormand. Like most of the Coens' films, the movie has quirky characters whose lives are greatly affected by circumstances.

It's good to watch and unpretentious. The film made me realize how old Brad Pitt is. He still has the figure that young men in 20s or 30s would die to have but his face tells it all. His wrinkles are not smoothed over by make up. Same thing for George Clooney. The film also shows how great an actress Tilda Swinton is.

And while watching the film, I kept trying to see the film editing that has made the Coen Brothers Oscar-nominated for their other films. Sadly, I couldn't seem to "see" it.

I still prefer O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

2009-01-12T20:40:00.000-08:00

Last night was a productive night for me, in terms of outside work, that is. I managed to watch Vicky Cristina Barcelona, cooked siomai (or what is in intention a siomai) and watch Burn After Reading.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona is a film by Woody Allen (the first and only film of Allen that I watched) set in Barcelona and surrounding locales and starring Scarlett Johansson, Rebecca Hall, Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz.

The film is about two friends who went to Barcelona for the summer. They meet a painter, the engaged girl has sex with him one night and the other lives with him for most of the summer, until his wife came and lives with them.

I didn't get to focus on the film since while watching the film, I was also cooking the aforementioned intentioned-siomai (peeling, grating, mixing, wrapping and steaming). I found the film so-and-so, definitely above average but nothing special about it. Penelope Cruz is, as usual, gorgeous.

I guess the film boils down to when people travel to other unfamiliar places, they get to do things that otherwise they wouldn't have done, crazy things even, like having a sex with someone even though you're engaged or having an unusual three-way relationship with a guy and his ex-wife. Maybe I should travel to take out the monotony of my life. As they say, travel is a great investment. A few months savings and I could probably go to Vietnam or Thailand or other SE Asian countries. Europe may come later.

Disaster/ Superhero/ Epic/ Date/ Scary Movie

2009-01-11T20:19:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I went to Makati Cinema Square to buy some DVDs. One of the DVDs I bought is Disaster Movie - from the makers of Scary Movie, Date Movie and Superhero Movie.

Scary Movie 1 has some good laughs. Majority of the jokes are actually and intrinsically funny. Scary Movie 2 is bad. The first part of Scary Movie 3 is ok, but when the President and aliens appear, it's all downhill. Scary Movie 4 has some good jokes but majority is so-so.

Then comes Date Movie. Which is so full of references to other movies and (American) pop culture that the references are supposed to be funny on their own. Similar case with Superhero Movie and now with Disaster Movie. These ___ Movies (except for Scary Movie) have all passed through the IMDB Bottom 100 in the first few weeks or months of release.

Watching the ____ Movies becomes a bore. But why do I still buy and watch them (on DVD). Probably on the hope that somewhere in the movie is a truly funny that will make me laugh or smile. I guess no matter how many bad ____ Movies the producers make, I'll still be watching them on DVD for some cheap laughs.

Tonight, I'll be watching The House Bunny. I don't have much expectations but I do love Anna Farris. I bought The Dark Knight but i made a resolve not to watch it till I get a widescreen LCD TV, at least to give it the proper viewing, which I missed by not watching it in the cinema. Classic, critically-acclaimed and foreign-language films have to wait their turns.

Something to Think About

2008-12-17T21:39:00.000-08:00

This week, I watched The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. I don't normally watch this show but I had the channel on Maxxx since I was waiting for the The Colbert Report (pronounced the Colber Repor).

On that particular episode of The Daily Show, Jon Stewart had Mike Huckabee (the Republican who ran against John McCain in the Republican primaries). The discussion is about Huckabee's book and somehow it went on to gay rights, particularly on the the right to marry.

Being a Republican, Huckabee is a conservative (liberal Republican is somewhat an oxymoron) and opposes gay marriage, while Jon Stewart, being a New Yorker in show business is pro-gay marriage.

One point raised by Jon Stewart that really retained in my memory. He said that religion is more a choice than homosexuality is, and religious freedom and rights are given more protection by the US government (and most of the world) than gay rights.

This is quite true since people in the free world has the right to choose their religious belief, but sexuality, is more difficult to choose. Some are born with genetic predisposition to be gay, lesbian or bisexual.

Dr. Who

2008-12-14T22:39:00.000-08:00

I'm hooked on another series right now. After watching the full ten seasons of "Friends" and watching them again and again, I think I've finally moved on to other series.

Right now it's Dr. Who, a series produced by the BBC. I first bought the first season and I like the stories, sort of combination of Star Trek and the Twilight Zone (more Star Trek than twilight zone).

The first season stars a different Doctor, who was okay. But season 2, with David Tennant (oh my!) got me hooked more, not because he's a better actor, but because he's oh so cuter than the actor he replaced. He's not the drop-dead gorgeous guy nor one who takes my breath away, but yes, he's oh so cute. Add to that the quirky nature of his character and any girl or guy will surely fall for him.

He's also an actor at the Royal Shakespeare Company and has been voted the most famous Dr. Who of all time (counting the previous doctors in the 1963-1989 series).

Now about the show, it's about the Doctor, the only surviving time-lord who travels in a police phone booth looking space ship, the TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimension(s) in Space). He's got company. Together, they go through time and space and battle monsters (well, aliens) and correct wrongs. Each episode is usually one story but some stories span several episodes.

I'm looking forward to watching Dr. Who again tonight. Have to go home early.

Morality in the US Elections

2008-11-12T20:07:00.000-08:00

The November 4, 2008 US election is not just an election to vote for the next president, senator, congressman and others. It is also an election to vote on certain ballot measures to confirm or reject certain legislations that have an impact on people's lives or decisions.

What's notable in this election are the moral issues involved in these ballot measures.

The state of Washington has voted YES to allow doctor assisted suicide for people diagnosed of having less than 6 months to live.
Michigan voted YES to allow stem cell research under some guidelines.
Michigan also voted YES to allow medical use of marijuana.
Maryland voted YES to allow video lottery.
The states of Colorado and Nebraska voted YES to end affirmative action (legislations designed to help minorities get help on finding jobs, etc.)
Colorado voted NO on legislations that define as the beginning of life (mainly from the moment the egg and sperm cells meet and fertilize)
South Dakota and California voted NO on abortion limits. The vote in California is about whether a doctor should notify the parents of a minor who is seeking abortion. The vote in South Dakota restricts abortion to certain cases only (when the mother's life or health is at risk, in cases of rape and for incest where pregnancy is less than 20 weeks).

These measures may prove that the US is liberal and is in the path towards equality for all. However, this is not the case when it comes to gay rights. The states of Arizona, Florida and California has put a ban on gay marriage. (California, one of the most liberal states has ban gay marriage!). Arkansas, on the other hand, put a ban on unmarried couples (including gay couples) from adopting children or being foster parents to children.

This is contradiction of morality. It's ok to kill unborn babies but not to allow two people the benefits of marriage. It is allowed to have doctor assist patients in killing themselves, but not for couples to adopt and provide for a homeless or parentless child.

The election of an African-American in the White House is an indication that the US is moving towards equality for all. But it's still a path. As far as the LGBT is concerned, the US is not there yet.

Diego Bunuel

2008-10-04T10:55:00.000-07:00

Diego Bunuel is the host of a show in National Geographic Channel's Don't Tell My Mother. It's a travel show to some of the world's least accessible places.

I learned that he is the grandson of the legendary spanish director Luis Bunuel.

I think he's cute. Not too cute or handsome but handsome enough to be noticed.

I saw just one episode where he went to North Korea under the guise of being a tourist. He documents the way of life in the last truly socialist country on earth.

He interviews the people and how the North Koreans hate Americans, yet sell American products in the supermarket (which it seems is reserved only for the few who have money).

One of the most unbelievable part of the program was when he asked his guide about the North Korean's view on homosexuality. The older guide said that there is no such thing on NK and it is illegal. The younger guide is baffled - he doesn't know what homosexuality is. And when Diego explained it to him, his face is one of disbelief. Whew!

Angel of Mine

2008-10-04T10:50:00.000-07:00

I chanced upon this picture while browsing through some blog.

I don't normally grab pictures and post them in my blog, but he is so cute.

If he is my angel, I just wish he'd take the fall and become human so he could be with me.

Imagine waking up everyday to him.

He's handsome/cute in a boyish kind of way. I've always liked brown to blond (but not too blond hair), especially it's curly or wavy.

Angel of Mine.

In the News

2008-09-24T06:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday and today, I saw in yahoo news that Clay Aiken "came out of the closet". On News on Q, it's the same news.

Come on, it's like Lance Bass coming out.

People, and i mean hordes or people, already knew.

* * * * *

Also in the news, two senators (Jamby Madrigal and Ping Lacson) were saying that Villar should resign his post as Senate President. Nothing surprising in that, since election time is near and Villar is one of the strong contenders for presidency.

What struck me the most was Miriam's statements. She said that the administration bloc is not supporting the ouster of Villar since its members are satisfied with their committee membership, and that you can only foment discontent if the members are not satisfied with their committee membership.

I always knew that Miriam is an intelligent lawmaker but my admiration for her grows with this statements. She understands politics and she's very candid with her observations, even saying them in national television.

Shoe Guy

2008-09-24T02:44:00.000-07:00

In the hit TV series Sex and the City, Carrie Bradshaw has an online alias of "shoegal" since she loves shoes so much. At one point, her friend Miranda calculated that over the years, she spend approximately $40,000 on shoes.
I don't spend that much on shoes since my disposable income (though slightly higher than some) does not allow me to buy Manolos (or its equivalent, if any, in men's shoes).

But yes I still do buy shoes every once in a while. Everytime I go to the malls, I instinctively go to shoe stores but just the normal and reasonably priced ones. I still can't bring myself to buy a P7,200 boots from Alberto's even though I just love how it looks.

I graduated from buying shoes worth P500 or less. (In college, I bought this rubber sneakers which costs P300. I wore that shoes for more than 5 years and would have continued wearing them had my mother not given it away).

From buying P500 or less shoes, I went to buying P1,000 or less (the types you can buy in SM). Then an acquiantance told me about this shoe store WADE and I immediately levelled up to P2,500 or less. Then when strolling in Rockwell, I found this shoe store ALDO which sells really nice and fashionable shoes for P3000 to P5000. I was itching to buy the P3,200 shoes (on sale) but the available sizes were too small.

An officemate told me how he bought shoes in PEDRO'S (an affiliate of Bench). I went there once, loved the shoes, bought one for P3,000++. I would have bought more but my conscience kicked in.

Right now, I own about 18 pair of shoes.

Girbaud. Bought them on sale. I wear them when I feel like wearing shoes on Saturday instead of sandals. Leaveland. Looks a little big. But these shoes have served their purpose. This is one of my "safe" office shoes that I wear quite often when I can't think of which shoe goes well with which pants.
Pedro's. I thought this was made of snakeskin and ostrich leather. The salesman said this is made of cow leather.
Bench. I like. (the color combination)
FILA. I'm not a great fan of shoes that markets itself as sporty (I'm not sporty and am not a sports fan) but when I saw this brown shoe on sale, I bought it.
Wade. I just love brown shoes.

W. Brown. Bought on sale in SM. I wanted to buy an ox-blood colored shoe (this is not really ox-blood but the color is close) at the time to wear with my black pants.

Wade. I shoe that I wanted to buy before in Mall of Asia. However it seems a little expensive for me at the time. A few months or week later, I went to Trinoma and found it on sale 20% off. I had to buy it. Maritalia, an affiliate of Rusty Lopez. I liked how it looks like the woodgrain design.

Leaveland. Design is a little different from most. I am looking for different looking shoes. The sales lady told me that I'm their first customer to buy this.

Leaveland. A little too big for my feet.

I still haven't taken pictures of my other shoes.

"Jewellery" Box

2008-09-24T02:28:00.001-07:00

This is a "jewellery box" that I bought in Baguio (Mines View, in particular).

And yes, the " " are necessary since right now, it doesn't hold anything of real financial value.

Its current contents are:

- "Silver" cufflinks (yes the " " are also necessary). I think this costs P399 or P499.
- A wrist watch from Unisilver (this at least has sentimental value since this is a gift)
- A wrist watch which came free from buying Chivas Regal in Duty Free
- A wrist watch that I bought from SM and costs P399.
- 2 neck wear (not really a necklace). These have black sort-of rubber string with metal pendants. Both costs less than P200 each.
- 4 neck wear that I bought in Baguio - all with black threads and cross pendants, in different designs, made of kamagong wood (or that's what the seller told me). I don't remember how much each costs but they're somewhere in 3 for P100 or 4 for P100.

Sometimes I also put there silver necklace (also has sentimental value since this is a special gift) but that doesn't happen since I'm always wearing it.

I was hoping that someday, someway, someone would give me something (a real jewellery, or an expensive watch) so that my "jewellery box" can transform into a Jewellery Box.

Picture of _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

2008-09-24T02:21:00.000-07:00

This is a picture that I don't remember taking.

I really don't know what or who I was taking a picture of.

Anyway, looking at it, I think it looks like a male sex organ.
I think so.

I showed it to someone and he also thinks so.

And I did not even told him what I thought it looks like.

Baguio

2008-09-04T03:40:00.001-07:00

Some pictures I took in and going home from Baguio.

On the SCTEX on going home. I took several pictures of the road and the clouds. The cloud in this picture I imagine to be a rabbit.

They say that a camera adds ten pounds to a persons looks. It seems that taking a picture of your shadow with a camera adds another 10 pounds. Or maybe I just gained weight.

This is near Wright Park where you can ride horses. Some are white with pink mane. Made me think of the little girls (in the US) who want to have pink ponies. I don't think little girls here in the Philippines ask for pink ponies.

This street near Burnham Park reminded me of the Academic Oval in UP (the side near the College of Engineering).

Butterfly

2008-09-04T03:40:00.000-07:00

When we were in La Union for work, I chanced upon a butterfly (or is it a moth) clinging still to the wall of the hotel-resort where we were staying. I took a picture of the insect but didn't get much time to appreciate its beauty.

On looking at the picture, I finally appreciated its beauty.

* * * * *

Butterflies have been used in gay pride parades and other gay-celebrations. I think a butterfly is one of the symbols of the LGBT community.

Now I know that the rainbow represents the whole spectrum of gender and sexuality but I'm not sure of the symbolism for the butterfly.

Maybe it's a symbol for the metamorphosis that one goes from being a straight-acting person during the day to a different person at night. Or maybe it's a symbol for the coming out of the closet, like a butterfly leaving its cocoon to spread its wings.

Always Be My Baby

2008-09-02T06:50:00.000-07:00

Here is a very simple blog that I found rather funny:

* * * * * * * * * *

Always Be My Baby

... by david cook has been unoffically made the theme song for those so-called closeted queers who wish to present themselves as straight and masculine but still retaining the diva-ness of the song, singing in a baritone or on a low tone (hell i don't sing professionally so i use the words freely), straight up with ladies swooning over the sexiness of the voice but the perfomer with his eyes closed imagining himself swinging on a rubber tire tied up to a branch of a tree hanging over the river, just like in the video.

* * * * * * * * * *

When I first heard the song on American Idol, I didn't like it. It was so simple and I thought that David Cook's rendition was a little to flat. But as the song gets played over and over again on the radio, in my officemates' laptops, etc., I am liking it more on more. It grows on me, as I'm sure it does too in other people.

And when I think of the song "Always Be My Baby", Mariah's vocal sighing (or as some people say, "puro halinghing") no longer comes to mind.

Look How Far I've Gone

2008-04-03T12:58:00.000-07:00

When I first came to Manila to study college, I was a naive skinny guy. I was 5'7.5 or so and weighed less than a 110 pounds (with clothes on!). My idea of eating out is eating in Jollibee or McDonalds and watching movies in theaters is a rare treat.

I had a little difficulty in adjusting to the faster pace of life in the city. I had what they called culture shock. Still a loner during my freshman year, I feel conscious when walking along the aisles and halls of UP, thinking everybody is looking at me. I was geniunely shocked to have seen two gays kissed in front of me (well, more of life lips to lips smack which I guess was their beso beso).

I almost cried studying for Math 17. Having learned nothing more than elementary algebra in high school (the pace of my studies in high school was really dragged down by my slower learning or preferring-to-do-other-things-than-study classmates).

I almost dropped out of ROTC and my knees shook every Monday (and sometimes Wednesday) that I have to go to UP to attend the ROTC trainings.

I had very little money back then. Generally living on a monthly allowance of less than P1,500 (including budget for transportation, meals and school projects). I survived on coffee in the morning, coffee or some other drink and perhaps some snacks for the whole day, and a heavy dinner. No wonder I weighed so little.

During free time, I roamed the dusty heart of Quezon City (Cubao) and was a regular visitor at Booksale stores in Cubao.

My clothes back then comprise mainly of t-shirts, checkered and plaid-ish polos and jeans.
I bought the shirt and jeans in Melvin's or its affiliate stores 'cause that's where they were cheap. I used a shirt that my sister-in-law gave to me back in high school for more than 8 years and would have used it longer had my mother not taken it. I felt really really good on being able to buy the P325 paid of walking shoes that was really comfortable.

I splurged on a double cassette recording of Les Miserables, which cost me about P250.

Life was not then easy then but I survived.

* * * * *

It's been almost ten years since then.

I am now weighing about 160 pounds.

I generally don't like eating in Jollibee, McDonalds or other fastfood stores. My idea of eating out is at Italianni's or Fish & Co. or some other restaurants in the Greenbelt area.

I can watch movies in theathers whenever I want.

I have adjusted to the fast pace of city life and cannot bear of the thought of living again in the province. Walking wherever, whenever no longer gives me the creeps. Guys kissing no longer shocks me. Been there, done that. In fact, I think very few things now can shock me.

I have forgotten most of algebra and trigonometry and calculus is now like the walking shoe I so dearly loved - probably unusable and discarded.

I am now earning more than the average person my age earns. Hell, I am earning more than the average person twice my age earns. Food is no longer a preoccupation and I can eat whereever I want, whenever I want.

I find it icky and jologs going to Cubao and my favorite haunts is now Glorietta and Greenbelt.

Now, I have a closetful full of clothes. Some of which I have never even worn. There was a time just last year when I did shoe-shopping on a weekly basis since I was bored. Just last month, I bought three pair of shoes from the mall.

Cassette tapes are no longer in and I regularly buy DVDs for my collection. Spending about a thousand bucks for DVDs in one week is no longer a treat.

Life is in many ways easier now but I'm still not completely satisfied.

* * * * *

Life was simpler then.
Life is more complicated now.

I couldn't buy things then.
Now, I want to buy things I can't afford.

There were times when I was really depressed then.
These times still come now.

Some things change.
Some things . . . well, they're just reincarnate themselves in a more complicated guise.

Sort of New Developments and Other Rantings

2008-04-02T23:09:00.000-07:00

It's been quite sometime since last time I blogged. There have been some new developments and some not so new developments.

* * * * *

I wrote in my blog on sex and the city how I was like the girls of Manhattan: looking for a job, looking for an apartment and looking for a boyfriend (hihihi).

Ok. I have found an apartment and been living there for more than 2 months, found a new job and am starting on April 16, and I have a sort of someone whom I am seeing every now and then. Not really the ideal apartment, job or bf but these will do for now.

* * * * *

I went to Kitchen last night and ate there. . . after a long time. Feels like it was ages since I last had a meal there.

Then I went to Powerbooks to look at some books. Also feels like ages since I was there. I found a bought, Film: A Critical Approach, or something like that. And it cost P2,459, quite expensive. But I went on and bought it. It's been quite sometime since I splurged on something.

It was an informative book. And contained a lot of what I wanted to know. For instance, there is a section detailing the four general writing on films: scene analysis - which analyzes a particular scene of a movie in relation to the whole movie and its theme, film analysis - which analyzes the scenes and details of the movie in relation to its theme, research paper - which is the most tedious type of film paper to write, and the movie review - the type for general audiences, much like the film review of Jessica Zafra and Roger Ebert.

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ABS - CBN is re-airing Marina - that fantaserye starring Claudine Barreto as the mermaid. Hmmm, an obvious move to undermine the Dyesebel fantaserye that will star Marian Rivera. Tsk tsk tsk!

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Sex and the City

2008-01-09T01:21:00.000-08:00

Carrie Bradshaw once said that New York women (particularly in Manhattan) are always looking for something.

Looking for an apartment.

Looking for a job.

Looking for a boyfriend.

At the time that I watched it, I couldn't relate. Having a good and fun job and a nice apartment at that time. And not really caring to have a boyfriend. Hihihi.

But now I feel like I am living in Carrie's Manhattan, which for my sake I will call my MANhattan.

I am looking for an apartment.

I am looking for a new job.

And possibly looking for a boy-friend. Or just simply boyfriend. Hihihi.

Oh, Carrie Bradshaw, with your US$400,000 collection of designer shoes, fashionable clothes with large flowers. I never thought I'd be able to relate to what you were saying.

And now that I can, where are you? Your show ended with a bang. Unmindful of the fact that sometime in the future after your show has ended, I can finally relate to your endless prattles and blah-blah on life, relationships and sex in the city.

Unfinished Blogs

2008-01-09T01:14:00.000-08:00

Today, I clicked the 'edit posts' tab in this website and noted that I have so many unfinished blogs.

I start an idea, some of which are good, while others are mediocre. But somehow I can't sustain the effort to finish what I started.

It's like Richard Brown in The Hours saying that he is a failure as a writer because he has some good ideas, things that he wants to write, but somehow, it all ends up so much less.

Maybe I'll just follow what Lea Salonga sings about - Finish What You ............

On Buying Clothes

2008-01-08T00:20:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday, I went to Makati Cinema Square with a friend to buy some DVDs. When we were there, we went to Plaza Fair's department store to look at clothes and shoes.

When looking at the clothes and shirts, my mind immediately assumes that my size is medium. I have forgotten that about the time the Philippines transitioned to Philippine Financial Reporting Standards (PFRS) from the old generally accepted accounting principles (GAAP), i myself have transitioned from being size medium to size large. Like most Philippine companies finding it difficult to accept that the simple GAAP has now become complicated, I found it hard and still finds it hard to accept that the medium shirt I used to buy are, in most cases, no longer acceptable. Wearing them makes me look like a suman wrapped in coconut leaves and bulging in the wrong places. I stick out from the crowd in the same way that an FS today prepared using the old GAAP will be looked at in a not-so-favorable way.

And for me, wearing large sized shirts has somehow become a standard, not just generally accepted, except in certain cases.

The Man and the Sea

2008-01-04T20:37:00.000-08:00

In a village somewhere near the jungle, there lived a group of people who work away from their homes. Some of them work in or near the the sea as fishermen while the others spend practically all of their time in the desert and jungle. At one time during this gathering, the village elders summoned all village people of age to teach them an important lesson that they will have to learn in order to survive life. In this gathering, the village elders taught the people the basic mechanics of and the problems that may be encountered when swimming.

The fishermen nodded in understanding and asked questions on what the elders taught. Some too eagerly. The other half, who spend their days working their whole lives in the desert and the jungle, can barely comprehend what the elders were saying. Some were able to understand the basic mechanics of swimming - that you need to move your arms and legs in order to float and that you need to breath once in while. Others, lacking the experience (some of them haven't even seen what the sea looks like), were at a total loss.

One of the non-fisherman people, Aethel, is planning to move to a different village to become a fisherman and is trying as hard as he could to understand what the hell the village elders were talking about. He is not sure whether his plans will come to fruition but just in case, just in case it comes true, he will need to learn all that he could about swimming. At the start of his working life, he wanted to be a fisherman. But the village elders, in all their knowledge or folly, assigned him the task of planting crops, hunting, gathering and all the other odd work that the elders decide from time to time, including an assignment to build a boat for the fishermen. In short, he became the jack of most trades but the master of nothing.

At the end of the village gathering, the non-fishermen folks went to their homes, shaking their heads in confusion. For most of them, this gathering has just been a waste of time. They learned nothing that they could use in their daily work and home life. It doesn't matter. They will soon forget that this gathering ever happened. The next day, they would resume their work as they have always done for most of their lives.

However, for Aethel, this gathering is a lost opportunity for learning. Try as he could to learn, he has had no experience to fully comprehend and learn the knowledge that the village elders imparted. He went home, sighed, and hoped that when the time comes, he can apply to working in the sea what he learned from his years of working the land.

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Another Saturday morning and I have to attend a training on derivatives and embedded derivatives. Not that I don't know anything about these things, I once worked on an engagement where we supposedly identified embedded derivatives from the client's purchase and other contracts.

But when I got to the training, I could not comprehend what the partner and the manager was saying. Majority of the topics discussed relates to derivatives and embedded derivatives applicable to banks and financial institutions. Sure I was able to learn some of the basic concepts. But, having no experience in banking, I failed to see or appreciate this nor can I see the benefits of these knowledge in my immediate future.

When I entered auditing, I wanted to be assigned to the banking group but I was assigned to the manufacturing, real estate, construction, retailing, and others group. Not that I didn't enjoy working in this industries, but I feel that I just haven't mastered any industry at all.

And now I am planning to work abroard, where most of the jobs available are in the line of banks and financial institutions. Tsk tsk tsk. Poor me. Maybe I'll just learn auditing financial institutions when I get there. After all, I'm a fast learner and fast worker (or so some of my managers believe).

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The training is over. Nothing has changed. Nothing new mastered.

I am sitting here in our office typing this blog.

Looking back on the good times.

Being depressed on the present.

Hoping for the best in the future.

Not so Happy New Year

2008-01-02T01:27:00.000-08:00

Another year. Another suitcase in another hall.

Well, not really. It's another year but I'm not yet in another hall (or workplace, that is).

I'm still slaving away here in my old old old work. Doing the same thing. Or supposed to be doing the same things (plus a little bit more) but not finding the drive or willingness to do these same things.

I need to have change in my life. It's time for a cool change. I know that it's time for a cool change.

New year. But nothing much is new with my life.

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Last December 30, our whole family (plus some) went to Manila from our hometown. My brother, father, mother, nephew and I riding in my brother's new car (which, hopefully will become mine when he leaves) and my sister, sister-in-law, two nephews, niece, my sister-in-law's brother and sister, their house helper and my cousin's granddaughter riding in the Fortuner.

The Fortuner (which my sister drove) swerved in the highway twice and hit a roadside metal fence. My sister-in-law was rattled. But no harm done, except for damage on the front (near the bumper) in the passenger seat side and the door to the passenger side was blocked and cannot be opened.

We spent the new year in Luneta (near the grandstand) waiting for the grand fireworks which never came.

I went home after the celebration to my apartment in Makati.

On New Year's Day, I went to Quiapo to buy some DVDs but most of the stores were closed. I did, however, manage to buy some DVD boxes.

I no longer joined my family on their trip to Mall of Asia.

My father and mother went to my apartment after the malling and brought me some not-so-good food from the grille where they ate.

Upon entering the door, my mother said that the Fortuner had an accident again. This time hitting (or being hit) an owner-type jeepney. The damage, they say, is on the front of the driver's side. The Fortuner now has damage and scratches on the left and right front sides.

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I almost didn't go to work since I didn't want to see my managers. I still have a lot of backlogs to do.

Despite all misgivings, I did manage to go to work. And what do you know? They're still on vacation leave.

I managed to get some work done.

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So far that is how my new year goes.

To all those who are having a better start for the year:

Have a happy and prosperous new year!

To people like me whose start of the year could get better:

Let's accept what's happening and hope that the year turns out for the better.

Developments

2007-12-20T21:28:00.000-08:00

It's 4 days to go before Christmas and yet I don't feel like celebrating. Things seem to go wrong. It's like that law where if things have a possibility of going wrong, they will.

Ok, to start off, there was an audit group meeting, which I did not attend since I may be the spotlight of the meeting due to my unarchived accounts. Turns out that the meeting wasn't that bad.

I intentionally did not go to work due to this meeting, hence, I no longer went to our group Christmas party last night. No big deal though. Seems like these days, nothing seems to matter. Not Christmas parties, not work, no nothing.

Then, I checked my email last night and what do you know?!, the job in the Channel Islands I was applying for did not materialize. The email said "we are unable to further process your application". Oh well, that's life. Maybe in a few months or so I will appreciate that I did not get that work, which requires me to move to Channel Islands in January. As Evita said, "Call in three months time and I'll be fine I know. Maybe not that fine, but I'll survive anyhow."

Early this morning, I received a text from Chard saying that the apartment that I was eyeing (or thinking of since I haven't seen it yet) was already promised by the landlady to someone who already gave a deposit. He said that the prospective lessee may still backout. Until then, all I can do is hope. I don't want to look for a fucking apartment.

And then, this morning, I opened the gift that I received for our exchange gifts (the gift giving happened last Tuesday night, but I was not there on account of my interview for the Channel Island job). And what do I find?! A fucking paisley tie!!! It was fashionable. . . like decades ago!!! Am I supposed to resurrect this pattern, which the most brave of designers refuse to put on their signature labels?

What a way to end the year! But all is not lost. I can hope that things will turn out for the better. In my life, it seems that they always do. Bad things happen for a reason. And these reasons ultimately turn out for the good.

Unforgettable Scenes

2007-12-01T21:51:00.000-08:00

Some scenes become ingrained in our minds once we see them. These could be because of extreme beauty, shock or maybe you saw at the right place at the right time.

1. Ratatouille - Upon getting a taste of the simple ratatouille, the food critic suddenly remembers (using a very effective zoom out and zoom in) his mother's cooking that used to cheer him up when he was a kid.

2. Apocalypse Now - The attack on a coastal village by U.S. armies using helicopters with loud speakers booming The Ride of the Valkyries. A very effective physical and psychological tactic to intimidate the enemies.

3. Trainspotting - After taking drugs, a group of drug addicts passed out for a few days. After a few days of being knocked out, the group discovers the dead and gruesome greenish looking baby (of one of them) who died of hunger.

4. 2001: A Space Odyssey - A lot of beautiful images, the moon and the planets aligning with the monolith, the psychedelic mind journey to becoming a starchild and other simply amazing images.

5. Beaches - Bette Midler singing "The Glory of Love(?)" with the orphaned child of her bestfried.

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This is one of my unfinished blogs. Still unfinished.

I was going to end it with a reflection on how I hope my life or episodes of my life would be remembered and never forgotten by people in my life.

But I figured, what's the use? I started writing and intended to write this blog simply about unforgettable movie scenes. Why relate it to my life? Why make something out of just simple words. Too self-absorbed. Too pretentious.

Some things are better as they are. No pretense.

A Life Stranger than Fiction

2007-11-26T22:59:00.000-08:00

"Little did he know that this seemingly innocuous act would be the cause of his imminent death."

And so narrated the Karen Eiffel about the mundane life of Harold Crick (an IRS agent). He, living a boring and repetitive life, having no friends, and filling his days by counting brushstrokes and steps. And she, a writer who smokes a lot and gets a writer block when it is time to kill Harold Crick.

This is not about that movie, which is very good by the way. But about how I identify with and envy Harold Crick. He's an IRS auditor, I am an external auditor. He lives alone, I currently live alone (still looking for a housemate). Ahhh, he likes the girl who works in the bakery, I like cute guys who work in coffee shops. Hmmm, all right, my life is not the same as his. I can only go so far with the comparisons.

Unlike Harold Crick who lives alone and doesn't realize the boredom in his life, until a strange voice began telling him how mundane and seemingly insignificant his days are, I live with the knowledge that my life is boring. No strange voice need to tell me this. But familiar voices are telling me otherwise, that I have a lot to be thankful for (which is true), that I am cute and attractive (ahem!!!) and so many other things. I guess they're right. But my emotions and my thoughts are not controlled by what others tell me. It is controlled by my sometimes hyperactive brain, which finds unhappiness in the most joyful surroundings and happiness in the bleakest landscapes, which can find the good in the most despisable people and fault in the most likeable persons. Yes, my mind can control a lot of things in my life and I can't seem to control my mind.

I wish that some voice would narrate my life so that I can find busi-ness in the most routine task and in the most empty times. I can just listen to that voice and admire how the most seemingly routine task can be described in the most eloquent of words. But I just wish it would be someone who can speak perfect english (in pronunciation and enunciation) and with a good vocabulary. Otherwise, I'd be spending the rest of my life being irritated and distracted by the grammatical errors and lapses, gross mispronunciation and badly constructed sentences, phrases and clauses. Boring as my current life may be, I still deserve to have someone of talent to narrate my existence.

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(Update) On my way home from the office, it came to my mind that I made a grammatical error in this blog. Something on the cases of two pronouns. And on this very blog where I expressed my disdain for those English-speaking charlatans whose grammars are so bad they sound like the scratching of a fingernail against a chalkboard!!!