The Christmas Cheer

It's the -ber months and I decided to decorate my place for the Christmas season.

Confrontation Hysterics

A few weeks ago, I watched "In My Life" starring Vilma Santos, John Lloyd Cruz and Luis Manzano. It's a rare mainstream movie that features a gay couple (though they are not what the movie is about). Furthermore, the movie is decent enough in its portrayal of a gay couple (but the kiss between Luis and John Lloyd was talked about in showbiz news - it's just a kiss and not a wild sex scene ala Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal).

The movie is quite alright but I got annoyed by the confrontation scene between Vilma and John Lloyd. It's not that a confrontation scene is bad, it's just that I don't like the treatment - Vilma and John Lloyd shouting at each other, the camera focusing on their faces. As Jessica Zafra noted in her blog, Filipino drama movies have confrontation scenes where spittles fly and camera so close to the actors' faces that you may be able to see the pores of their skins.

I've never liked confrontations, in movies or in real life. Much more if the confrontation involves frying saliva, extended period of high-pitched and loud voices and camera angles focusing on the faces rather than on the body.

Yet this seems to be de rigueur in Philippine movie or TV drama (much like a picnic or an out-of-town complete with a song-and-dance number is the norm for Philippine comedies; or a shout-off [while both are holding their weapons and hiding between walls, support beams or other structures] between the main protagonist and the main antagonist is the staple of Philippine action movies).

I'm not sure if this is a cultural thing as most Hollywood movies don't have this (there may be a confrontation but are usually not treated in the same way). Some say that the Philippine movie industry evolved from theater and that maybe why some actors/actresses/directors believe that something is not drama unless there is a confrontation characterized by overacting. In theaters, you have to act more than what is normal in a real-life situation or in a movie since the play is viewed by audiences from afar (especially those in the backs). There are no close ups of these emotionally charged moments. Yet somehow in the translation to screen, the acting remains the same yet the viewer can now examine the bucketloads of tears and every imperfection in the faces of the actors.

[On a slightly related note, I remember watching several episodes of Lobo (while my family visited me here in Makati or when I go the province). The story seems good with its mythology and conflicts (haven't watched the whole series so I can't judge for real). What I don't like is how almost all characters seems to be always shouting at each other even when they are having a tribe/race meeting].

In movies, I prefer movies that rely more on music (sone or score), body language and silent tears (than on overblown emotions) to convey sadness, anguish or coldness. But then again, maybe it's just because I don't like confrontations in real life and prefer to grieve a silent grief and be lonely alone.

Fantasies

Eversince I started reading (and now finished) Harry Potter books 6 and 7, I had the drive to read more and watch TV less. As a result, I've bought several books and now collecting them (and reading them). Majority of the books are speculative fiction (fantasy, horror, science fiction) such as the works of Stephen King, the books of Terry Brooks and Terry Goodking, the ever-so-hard-to-find-in-hardcover Dune books, Michael Scott's Flamel novels and some others.

I've wrote that I'd like to live in an apocalyptic world. But I think to put it more correctly, I'd like to live in a world of fantasy. Too many a times have I though ot waving and flicking my hand holding a magic wand and uttering "wingardium leviousa" (pronounced win-GAR-dee-um lev-ee-OH-sa); or raising my hand and making the flood waters or waters of Pasig River rise and form a sort of water tornado.

Eversince I was a teenager, I have often felt that I am displaced in time and/or place. I feel like I should have grown up in the United States, where personal space is valued and kids 18+ generally live on their own, or lived as an aristocrat in England in Elizabethan times, where I will not be expected to engage in the burly sport of contact sports (basketball, etc.) but in aristocratic sports of horseback riding and refined pursuits of fine arts and music.

And now, I feel like I would rather live in a fantastical world of magic, where I can command the elements to do my bidding or to fine-tune something into my whims.

Somehow, I realize that I may be on my way to having psychosis, but somehow I still believe that my overly rational mind will not allow this. Probably when I'm old, I may have Alzheimer's (God forbid).

My (sleeping and waking) dreams of fantasy is a sure sign that I'm bored with my life.

Dream of an Apocalyptic World

I have several weird dreams or secret aspirations.

My secret dream occupation would be a sniper - except I'm not violent and I don't think I can carry out killing another person if I think of the family he/she will leave behind.

I also dream of being an actor in a musical play - except my signing voice is below average acceptable.

My most weird dream, however, is living in an apocalyptic world. A place where I can live in an urban center but with very very few human survivors but with modern conveniences still running (like electricity, water system and the internet). It would be a place where I can go to shopping malls and pick up any clothe I want, eat food I crave, etc. Like living in a ghost town. And then, I can finally read all the books I want, watch DVDs of movies I like (probably time enough to watch all movies in the 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die). And not having to be a slave to work (except maybe cook food sometimes) and not dependent on the turning of the earth on its axis in eating, sleeping and doing other things.

In this regard, I like reading books or watching movies about people who suddenly find themselves in a ghost town. Movies like I Am Legend (except I wouldn't want human-turned-animals hunting me), and books like the Martian Chronicles (where almost everybody went back to earth and left Mars a ghost town) and the story the Langoliers (which I just finished reading last night, except the ghost town is really the past-world and is to be eaten into nothingness by the langoliers).

I kinda liked the feeling during the time of Ondoy. I was home, I was websurfing and nothing disturbs me (except the few water drips here and there). I know that it caused a lot of deaths and devastation but somehow, something inside of me wants it to happen again, where I can just watch TV (assuming Meralco doesn't shut power) or curl up in a corner and read a good book.

Sometimes I wish I am living in the twilight zone and would one day find like 90 to 95% of the people gone (like simply vanished - I wouldn't want to have to deal with rotting corpses).

People say I am a loner. And this weird dream maybe one of the signs that they are right.