End of Year

I have a rather unusual end of year experience.

Last night, I went out with college friends. We had coffee at Starbucks till 2am and when I went home, the gate to my apartment was already locked and the landlady could not be waken with my knocks. To pass time, I went to the nearby 7-11 and bought some cigarettes and a 500mL PET bottle of Coke. I went back to my apartment and knocked on the gate some more. Still no answer.

Since she normally wakes up at 4am and by that time, I still have 2 hours to kill, I decided to go to Malate and probably find some store open (don't really want to go clubbing on my own - not my scene with or without company). However, majority of the stores were already closed.

At that time it was around 3am to 330am so I still had time to kill. I decided to go to Divisoria to buy fruits. I rode a taxi and the taxi driver let me off at Reina Regente corner Jose Abad Santos, still quite some walking from the stores that sell fruits but vehicles can no longer get any further due to tiangge stalls (open 24 hours) and the trash littering the streets.

Having drunk Bailey's, San Mig Light and tall caramel macchiatto with my friends and that 500mL of Coke, I began to feel the urgent need to pee. There were no place to pee in Divisoria at the time. The malls were closed and there are no open fastfood shop.

The need to pee was so bad that I wet my pants, and I mean like possibly most of the front of my pants. I thought of just going home after a privately humiliating experience (no people seemed to have seen what I just did) before getting a public humiliation from people seeing that I have wet my pants.

Still, I came all the way there, I still have time to kill, it's still dark and people can only see you when you're only a few feet from them (thus, they'll be forced to just see the top half of the body) that I decided to just buy some fruits.

I bought kiat-kiat, seedless grapes, and red apples. I also bought a purple-leafed plant, an ornamental plant that looks like a pineapple and another plant.

Just an experience before the year ends.

Stephen Covey's Giving

As part of our key result areas (KRA for performance measurement), our boss tasked us to "read" (read the book or listen to the audiobook) at least 4 management books per year. He suggested starting with Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

While listening to the audiobook, Stephen Covey mentioned that you can never truly give what you don't own. And that in order to give willingly, you must have had the feeling of truly owning what you're giving.

Flashback to highschool and college days, I remembered I was so stingy in giving things away or in giving gifts to others. Stephen Covey's words made me realize why. Growing up, I did not have many things. The few things (toys and stuff) I received or bought were few and far between. It's the sense of having few that made me cling to them more (in terms of having the stuff materially and for sentimental reasons).

But now that I have a decent job and can afford more things, I am more generous in giving gifts and stuff away. I already feel the satisfaction of "owning" things.

Covey's comment also made me think of what others would describe as rich people (especially those who grew up in well-to-do families) who are very generous to others and people who grew up poor but are now rich as stingy.

Rich people can afford to be generous because they have had the satisfaction of "owning". Some poor people cannot afford to be generous with what little they have. Others (those who grew up poor but became rich) still could not afford to be generous because they still have not had the satisfaction of "owning".

Just a Christmas-related realization from a timeless book.

My Dream Home

Right now, I am seriously thinking of buying a house (a single detached or in a high-rise condominium). I have a general idea of how it should look.

It should have a balcony (for smoking of course), a kitchen island, a library or den (or at the very least shelves for my books and DVDs). Budget permitting, it would be a two-bedroom house/unit - one unit for me and the other a combined library/home office/den/guest room.

The unit will be painted in a neutral color (probably white, off-white, cream, ecru or something of a similar color) or blue with white trimmings. The house/unit will be decorated in a possibly eclectic taste but leaning more on modern contemporary.

It will have two layers of curtain - one layer of sheer fabric like chiffon to let light flow, and the other of a heavier fabric to block out the light just in case I want to be in the dark.

It would have a planned lighting scheme (a lighting scheme that will be good for my complexion) consisting of recessed lighting, pendant lamps, table and floor lamps, etc.

The last two (curtain with sheer fabric and the lighting) are most important so that whatever fornicating may occur within the house/unit, it will be art and not pornography.

I've read many times that the difference between pornography and art is lighting. And the ever controversial Rosanna Roces once said that the difference between art and pornography is chiffon.

=)

Growing Old

My boss is in his mid-40s. He is already married and has three or four kids.

I remember in our various "mentoring" sessions, he advised me that I should be learning what I can about managing time, people, resources, etc. while I'm still in my 20s and early 30s. He says that by the time I get married and have kids, I will have different priorities. I guess this is true.

He also added that by the time a man (or a woman, I guess - though he did not explicitly say a woman) is in his 40s. He should already know himself and be stable in his personality. In the sense that when you are in your 40s, you should already have a "signature" scent. I'm so far from that right now. I'm using and love Lacoste Essentials, CK Eternity for Men, Bulgari Aqua Marine, Davidoff Cool Water, Pure by Hugo Boss and Polo by Ralph Lauren. Doubtless I will like more when I get a change to smell them (I generally like citrusy smells with some floral notes - the smell of freshness and summer).

I don't really know his scent or if he wears any. But it seems like he is living what he is preaching. He goes to the office like 7:30 or so every morning (I can't really check since I arrive somewhere between 8:30 am to 10:00 am), almost always light colored long-sleeved shirts and dark (mostly grays) pants (even on Fridays which is the casual dress down day).

My boss's advice got me thinking, is growing old like being a slave to habit and being boring?

Maybe he has a point, when we grow older, we have other priorities (like family) that we don't have time to think much about many stuff (vanity for instance) that by then, we should already have our "habits" that can get us through our lives despite the more pressing priorities.

I really don't know if his advice on growing old is for everybody or only for some people. But he is successful and seems happy and contented so it worked for him.

Next years I'll be turning 29, still 11 years before the 40s (or middle age) but I better start thinking about my life and the future.

The Christmas Cheer

It's the -ber months and I decided to decorate my place for the Christmas season.

Confrontation Hysterics

A few weeks ago, I watched "In My Life" starring Vilma Santos, John Lloyd Cruz and Luis Manzano. It's a rare mainstream movie that features a gay couple (though they are not what the movie is about). Furthermore, the movie is decent enough in its portrayal of a gay couple (but the kiss between Luis and John Lloyd was talked about in showbiz news - it's just a kiss and not a wild sex scene ala Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal).

The movie is quite alright but I got annoyed by the confrontation scene between Vilma and John Lloyd. It's not that a confrontation scene is bad, it's just that I don't like the treatment - Vilma and John Lloyd shouting at each other, the camera focusing on their faces. As Jessica Zafra noted in her blog, Filipino drama movies have confrontation scenes where spittles fly and camera so close to the actors' faces that you may be able to see the pores of their skins.

I've never liked confrontations, in movies or in real life. Much more if the confrontation involves frying saliva, extended period of high-pitched and loud voices and camera angles focusing on the faces rather than on the body.

Yet this seems to be de rigueur in Philippine movie or TV drama (much like a picnic or an out-of-town complete with a song-and-dance number is the norm for Philippine comedies; or a shout-off [while both are holding their weapons and hiding between walls, support beams or other structures] between the main protagonist and the main antagonist is the staple of Philippine action movies).

I'm not sure if this is a cultural thing as most Hollywood movies don't have this (there may be a confrontation but are usually not treated in the same way). Some say that the Philippine movie industry evolved from theater and that maybe why some actors/actresses/directors believe that something is not drama unless there is a confrontation characterized by overacting. In theaters, you have to act more than what is normal in a real-life situation or in a movie since the play is viewed by audiences from afar (especially those in the backs). There are no close ups of these emotionally charged moments. Yet somehow in the translation to screen, the acting remains the same yet the viewer can now examine the bucketloads of tears and every imperfection in the faces of the actors.

[On a slightly related note, I remember watching several episodes of Lobo (while my family visited me here in Makati or when I go the province). The story seems good with its mythology and conflicts (haven't watched the whole series so I can't judge for real). What I don't like is how almost all characters seems to be always shouting at each other even when they are having a tribe/race meeting].

In movies, I prefer movies that rely more on music (sone or score), body language and silent tears (than on overblown emotions) to convey sadness, anguish or coldness. But then again, maybe it's just because I don't like confrontations in real life and prefer to grieve a silent grief and be lonely alone.

Fantasies

Eversince I started reading (and now finished) Harry Potter books 6 and 7, I had the drive to read more and watch TV less. As a result, I've bought several books and now collecting them (and reading them). Majority of the books are speculative fiction (fantasy, horror, science fiction) such as the works of Stephen King, the books of Terry Brooks and Terry Goodking, the ever-so-hard-to-find-in-hardcover Dune books, Michael Scott's Flamel novels and some others.

I've wrote that I'd like to live in an apocalyptic world. But I think to put it more correctly, I'd like to live in a world of fantasy. Too many a times have I though ot waving and flicking my hand holding a magic wand and uttering "wingardium leviousa" (pronounced win-GAR-dee-um lev-ee-OH-sa); or raising my hand and making the flood waters or waters of Pasig River rise and form a sort of water tornado.

Eversince I was a teenager, I have often felt that I am displaced in time and/or place. I feel like I should have grown up in the United States, where personal space is valued and kids 18+ generally live on their own, or lived as an aristocrat in England in Elizabethan times, where I will not be expected to engage in the burly sport of contact sports (basketball, etc.) but in aristocratic sports of horseback riding and refined pursuits of fine arts and music.

And now, I feel like I would rather live in a fantastical world of magic, where I can command the elements to do my bidding or to fine-tune something into my whims.

Somehow, I realize that I may be on my way to having psychosis, but somehow I still believe that my overly rational mind will not allow this. Probably when I'm old, I may have Alzheimer's (God forbid).

My (sleeping and waking) dreams of fantasy is a sure sign that I'm bored with my life.

Dream of an Apocalyptic World

I have several weird dreams or secret aspirations.

My secret dream occupation would be a sniper - except I'm not violent and I don't think I can carry out killing another person if I think of the family he/she will leave behind.

I also dream of being an actor in a musical play - except my signing voice is below average acceptable.

My most weird dream, however, is living in an apocalyptic world. A place where I can live in an urban center but with very very few human survivors but with modern conveniences still running (like electricity, water system and the internet). It would be a place where I can go to shopping malls and pick up any clothe I want, eat food I crave, etc. Like living in a ghost town. And then, I can finally read all the books I want, watch DVDs of movies I like (probably time enough to watch all movies in the 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die). And not having to be a slave to work (except maybe cook food sometimes) and not dependent on the turning of the earth on its axis in eating, sleeping and doing other things.

In this regard, I like reading books or watching movies about people who suddenly find themselves in a ghost town. Movies like I Am Legend (except I wouldn't want human-turned-animals hunting me), and books like the Martian Chronicles (where almost everybody went back to earth and left Mars a ghost town) and the story the Langoliers (which I just finished reading last night, except the ghost town is really the past-world and is to be eaten into nothingness by the langoliers).

I kinda liked the feeling during the time of Ondoy. I was home, I was websurfing and nothing disturbs me (except the few water drips here and there). I know that it caused a lot of deaths and devastation but somehow, something inside of me wants it to happen again, where I can just watch TV (assuming Meralco doesn't shut power) or curl up in a corner and read a good book.

Sometimes I wish I am living in the twilight zone and would one day find like 90 to 95% of the people gone (like simply vanished - I wouldn't want to have to deal with rotting corpses).

People say I am a loner. And this weird dream maybe one of the signs that they are right.

Alexis Tioseco (1981-2009)

Alexis Tioseco is a Fil-Canadian film critic. I've watched him only once in a show on ANC. Just this morning, I saw a short tribute to him on the same channel. It only says he was born in 1981 and died in 2009. I thought he died because of Ondoy.

On search in the internet, it says he and his Slovenian live-in partner were killed by three men in collusion with a househelp.

I like him. First he's a little cute. But more importantly, because he is a serious film critic (editor of www.criticine.com), a profession very few practice nowadays, much more less in the Philippines.

To you Alex, may you rest in peace.

Are You Gay, Bi, or Straight? Your Result: Gay   Your result inticates a strong chance that you are gay. Either you already know this or your suspect it. Hopefully you are either accepting of this or working on doing so. Be proud of who you are!
Bisexual
Straight
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What type of person do you attract? Your Result: You attract Yuppies!   You attract the very well-dressed, job oriented type of people. They usually have their finances together, are 'middle of the road' on most topics, generally happy with the 'main-stream' of things. If it is stability you are after, these are good people to attract, if you seek adventure, it may be time for an overhaul.
You attract geeks!
You attract artsy people!
You attract models!
You attract rednecks!
You attract unstable people!
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You know the Bible 100%!

 

Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!

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If I Were... I am a Boy

gay quizz for losers Your Result: You are a boy   girls are attracted to you, but not all of them.Some people might even think your gay.People arent afraid of you but the dont make fun of you, you make friends with both genders
you are a girl
YOU ARE A MANLY MAN
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From the Journal: September 22, 2009 (Tuesday)

About 2 am: Had residual memory of moaning. Woken up by my sister. Told me that I may be having bad dreams. Remembered telling her and/or myself that I was not dreaming. On saying this, tried to recall the time elapsed between remaining memory of groaning/moaning and being woken up. Realized that the time elapsed between the two events seemed very long and then concluded that I must have really been dreaming.

The Otherworld

After finishing reading Book 6 and Book 7 of the Harry Potter series, I began searching for other "escapist" stories and novels.

I have bought books 1, 2 and 3 of Michael Scott's series, The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel, who as I've learned is a real life alchemist (and not just a fictional character of the Harry Potter books as I first surmised. I am now on book 2 of this series but stopped (since the author is still writing the 4th book and is yet to conceptualize the story of the 5th and 6th book - which means I will have to wait a few more years before the series is finally concluded).

Because of my Harry Potter fever, I began collecting books again (with time to read). I am now collecting the Dune books (I have read Dune, Dune Messiah and Children of Dune in mass paperback - I now have hardcover copies of the House Atreides, and the Butlerian Jihad), the Sword of Truth series of Terry Goodkind, and the third book of Jonathan Stroud's Bartimeus trilogy. I am contemplating buying the Charlie Bone books of Jenny Nimo but the work seems to be a shameless rip off of Harry Potter.

Last Sunday, I bought "Necronomicon: The Best Weird Stories of H.P. Lovecraft". I have read only the first few stories of the book. The book is full of stories about a cities, deities and civilizations that came before men, now long gone. The stories do not result in outright terror but I can feel a somehow different atmosphere when reading the stories.

Last night (or very early this morning), I dreamt of a series of "weird" dreams. I woke up groggily but decided to fall back to sleep again. [The dreams, though horrific in nature seems to non-threatening to me - in most of my dreams, especially those between sleeping and waking moments, I realize (while am still asleep) that what is happening is only part of a dream and that whatever happens in the dream, however terrifying, is only a dream.]

One dream I remember in particular. It is about a cemetery and people comes to visit. In my dream, I can see the people and the spirits. The twist in this event is that the spirits in the cemetery do not leave the place, they remain there and search (more like trap) a living person to be their companion forver. The search happens every November 1 when people come to visit. I just remember someone (possibly me) seeing the spirits and running away from them, knowing what they're up to. The escape involves climbing and jumping from a coconut tree to a wall, then running to a lake/body of water and hurrying after a leaving ferry.

There are also parts of the series of dreams that involves my father, some scenes in a train that stops in a sort-of a ghost town (but where there are people) very near the aforementioned cemetery (or where the cemetery is located).

I'm now wondering whether it is wise to continue reading H.P. Lovecrafts horrific and fantastical tales of the macabre.

Maybe I'll just need to avoid reading the stories before going to sleep.

Shorts

The song "Nobody" is so popular today.

- Some of my staff are dancing to the tune while in the office.
- A previous officemate has this on his skype: "I want your body, your body, not you!"
- Another previous officemate has this on her skype: "I have no money, no money but dues!"

* * *

Some people have weird names for their significant other.

A guy in our building calls (based on the name in cellphone, which I saw) his sweetheart "Honey Bunchy Munchy Crunchy".

* * *

A funny skype profile message of one of my previous officemate:

"Siguro, minsan, kaila­ngang madapa…
Bakit?
Wala lang, para eksena! Tapos, minsan, tambling naman para bongga!"

Kitchen Shock

This morning as I was browsing the normal websites I visit, I saw a picture in www. apartmenttherapy.com about bad houses. (http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/dc/pity-points-whats-your-worstnew-home-nightmare-092697)

The first picture shocked me. It looks very much like the kitchen in my previous apartment I rented: the set up of the kitchen sink, the almost-similar cabinet and the dominant color pink.



I thought that this is the very kitchen I used for three or four years. I was thinking that after I left that apartment, the owners of the building decided to go full out and paint the whole kitchen pink.

Then I realize it's a different kitchen.

Artichoke Lamp

I have a fondness for lamps, actually for any lighting fixtures other than a bare bulb.

Probably this stems from the fact that when I was a small child, our house was filled with incandescent bare bulb - too dim to use for reading, too unsightly to inspire creativity. Fortunately, we switched to flourescent lights, but again bare - good enough for reading, still too unsightly for inspiration.

At home, I have several lamps - one floor lamp, two table lamp, three hanging pendant lamp and two Japanese-inspired paper table lamp.

My dream lamp would be the artichoke lamp by Poul Henningsen.



Need to buy/build a house and buy this awesome lamp.

I Am My Mother's Son

I am my mother's son, more than I am my father's son.

Ever since I could remember, I was closer to my mother than to my father.

When I was a kid (about 3 to 4 years old), my father was working in Nestle plant in Sta. Rosa, Laguna. My mother was a seamstress and does her work at home. While sewing clothes for people, I would sit near her and entertain myself by using her scissors (the big metal scissors) in cutting up paper and small swaths of fabric. (In elementary school and even in high school, I was bemused by some of my classmates who do not know how to properly use a scissor. The smaller hole is where the thumb should go and the larger hole would accomodate the index finger.)

When I was five years old, my mother saw a graduation/recognition ceremony of a private Christian school in our town. She was amazed at how smart the kids were and decided to enroll me the following school year (despite the fact that my father was not earning much and it costs P300 (a big amount that time) per month in tuition).

People and research say that intelligence is generally inherited from the mother rather than the father. My father spent a few months in college but did not finish. My mother did not even finish elementary school but through self study and by reading lots of Christian-related books, she is able to read and understand English. I think because of this that my parents (particularly my mother who was not privileged enough to finish formal schooling) strived to get all three of us through college.

When I was in preschool and elementary, my mother loves gardening (still does but she doesn't have the same energy to do things). The front of our house is full of bougainvillaeas, orchids, chrysanthemums and other flowering plants. (My sister tells me that when my mother was pregnant with me, she was so into gardening that the front of our house looks so beautiful, people would stop to admire it and even ask to buy some of her flowers). I guess that's why I love flowers. I have several flower arrangements in my apartment (I don't have the time and energy to actually care for living plants).

I have lots of kitchen stuff - most I don't actually use. I have potato masher, egg beater, etc. Whenever I go to Japan Home Center, I buy lots of stuff that I might need but may never actually use. Whenever my mother goes to Novo (a store that sells clothes and lots of inexpensive homewares), she never fails to buy something. When she last went to my apartment, she brought me a meat tenderizer and a metal utensil for frying. I think I may be able to use the meat tenderizer probably once or twice only. Most probably, it will be used by my sister when she visits me and cooks beefsteak (I don't like cooking beef).

Now that I am in a Top Design phase, it seems that my mother is my only supporter. While my sister says that I "do" too much to my apartment, my mother actually encourages me to go further and even offer some advice.

A very belated Happy Mother's Day and a very advanced Happy Birthday to you, Nanay.


P.S. I am not a mama's boy. I'm just closer to my mother. I guess most of gay guys are.

My mother doesn't "know" about my sexual orientation. I guess she has knows but we don't actually talk about it. Two years ago, she was suggesting I get married and have kids already. Nowadays, whenever people (relatives and family friends) would ask why I am still single and "available" (no gf), my mother would actually butt in and say that I am enjoying being single and that my father actually married her when he was 33.

I do not have a dysfunctional relationship with my mother like Norman Bates (A mother is a boy's best friend).

The End

Saturday and yesterday, I watched season 8 of Will and Grace, up to the final episode. Somehow, I feel sad:

- First, I always feel sad when a TV series (especially a sitcom) that I am watching ends. I got the same feeling of sadness when I watched the series finale of Friends. This may sound cheesy, but it feels like I am losing a friend. And no matter how many times you watch the previous episodes, I know that things have to end.
- At the end of Will and Grace, Will found a partner in Vince (the cop) and they have a son, Grace remarried Leo and have a daughter, their children married, Jack inherited money and lived rich with Karen (and Rosario). Everybody found their "life partners" and they seem happy. I have a partner but I am not sure if it is for life, my parents do not know (or it is not out in the open) and I don't have a kid. Maybe I just need to get a dog.

My 104th Post

This is my 104th post. I missed congratulating myself on having my 100th post (like missing the opportunity to congratulate its first and second years). Though there's nothing to congratulate myself about. Just 100++ postings of incoherent thoughts.

I have just one follower. A friend. No one else bothers to follow. Though I'm thankful to some people who have put a link to my blog in their blog.

Seems like my most popular blog is about Diego Bunuel. Through the widget I put, I can see where the people who visited my blogs are from and what specific blog entry they have been reading. In almost all areas that I zoom to, it's Diego Bunuel. Probably because there is considerably little said or blogged about him in the internet that my mediocre blog pops up near the top in google search for this hunk.

Here's to my 104th blog, and to many more incoherent ramblings. I hope that I can have focus on writing blogs (without sacrificing my already diminishin focus at work). And have more and better things and experiences to write about.


PS: After publishing this post, I realized that I have not published more than 90 entries. The 100++ post indicated in my blogger dashboard refers to all blog entries I made, some of which are still unpublished.

Anyway, here's to my 104th suck-y post!

Faux Designer Bags

Last Sunday night, National Geographic TV had a special on fake designer goods.

I guess the show is being promoted to discourage people from buying fake designer goods. As a viewer and a consumer myself, I don't find the arguments convincing.

There is one guy who says that fake designer goods travel through illicit channels that may also distribute more dangerous goods (e.g., illegal or fake drugs, firearms). The show is presented in the same way, after presenting the fake designer goods trade, the show then presents the trade of fake drugs, mentions drug dealers, firearms dealer. . . as if to rub off in the viewers mind that the fake handbags, watches, shirt, etc. are related and as dangerous as heroid, fake Viagras, armalite rifles.

Fake drugs (and other items ingested by people) can kill, firearms can kill, heroin and illegal drugs destroy lives but buying a fake designer bag will not destroy somebody's life. Sure, Mr. Ralph Lauren may have to postpone buying a helicopter.

The show's most convincing argument (at least to me) is that the distribution of fake goods result in bribery (in customs or the police or politicians). But then, when I think that the people working in the Philippine custom will require some form of remuneration whether the good you are importing is legal or not, that argument breaks down.

I don't buy fake designer goods for the sake of having a bag or watch that other will think is high-end (which I would know is fake). I would rather prefer unbranded goods with good quality or design.

I read in an online article that the trade of fake goods actually benefit fashion, in the sense that the people who buy designer goods buy these goods because they are unique. And when these goods are already being faked, the designer is forced to create new designs to satisfy the customers.

I don't encourage people buying fake goods. I just don't like the way that it is being compared to illegal drugs and firearms.

The Rape of Psyche

In olden times, rape doesn't mean sexual harassment, sexual harassment maybe the result of the "rape" thus, the word acquired its current meaning.

I found this wonderful painting in the Art Renewal Center website. The painting is called "La Ravissement de Psyche"



I then found this in SM:

Paintings

I am now collecting art.

The first painting that I bought is one made by "James" and is an abstract representation of the Holy Family in jewel tones.

During our anniversary, I asked the BF to give me a painting instead (he asked that I give him a watch from Greenhills).



When it comes to sculpture, I like classical sculpture (reproduction of famous pieces) but when it comes to paintings, I like modern/abstract ones. It's not that I dislike classical and realistic paintings. I just don't like classical or realistic paintings done poorly. With abstract art, a slightly disproportionate head will not matter but it will be grotesque sight on a realistic painting.

Sculpture

Yesterday, I went to the "Second Hand Antique Shop" (sort of redundant) in Kamuning Road to buy some reproduction sculpture. I was planning on buying a small sculpture (about a food in height) of two naked bearded men wrestling. One man is holding the other's penis. I saw this sculpture the last time I went there but thought that at P3,000, it is expensive. I was willing to buy it yesterday at that price (or a few hundred less) but it was already sold (though still in display).

I had to settle to buying a reproduction of Michaelangelo's David's bust for P1,400.



Though I think the price is still a bit high, I bought it.

The BF said it looks good.

I am on the hunt for reproduction for classical sculptures (mostly male nudes or semi-nudes). I already have Auguste Rodin's The Thinker. Can't seem to find where to buy these. Antique shops is one but majority of the sculptures in antique shops are either statue of saints, statue of Buddha or statue of women/children painted gold. I want classical statues in marble (or marble finish), stone (or stone finish) or at least silver.

I looked in the internet and found a site (www.talariaenterprise.com) that sells a lot of reproduction sculptures. The prices are reasonable but it is based in the US and the freight and custom charges may more than double the landed cost. Then there's a factory in Bacolor, Pampanga that manufactures statues made of plastic resin but they are an exporter and sells in bulk.

Probably, I'll have to scour antique shops this weekend.

My Blue Jeans

Back in high school (third year), I remember I don't have a pair of jeans at the start of the school year. My wardrobe consists of school uniform, some t-shirts which I wore for out-of-school functions (very few I must say) and some old clothes for home.

When I joined the COLT (Cadet Officer Leadership Training), we were required to go to school every Saturday wearing jeans and white t-shirt. Because I had none, my sister-in-law gave me a pair that belonged to her brother. It is an acid-wash 80s-style jeans (high-waisted that tapers near the bottom). Every Saturday for a few months, I would wear that pair of jeans (and only that since it was my only pair). I was eventually taken out of the program (only 18 or so went on to finish the COLT program and become commissioned officers, the rest of us became NCOs). I don't remember what happened to that pair of jeans. I don't particularly miss it as memories attached to it were not really dear to me (I don't particularly like military and other authoritarian systems. Possibly, it is because my older brother was Corps Commander and my sister was a Company Leader that I joined the training program in the first place).

Today, acid-wash jeans, high-waisted and tapered jeans are soooo out-of-style. I now have several pairs of dark denims (with regular waist and straight-cut or boot-cut). Still that pair of jeans, no matter how many I have will always be memorable (not dearly remembered but remembered none the less). May it rest in peace (whereever it may be and for whatever purpose it is being used right now).

"Top Design"

I'm still not over my "Top Design" phase and still not satisfied with how my apartment looked. Last weekend, I again stayed up most of the night cleaning and rearranging stuff in my house.



The hanging lamp (shaped like a lotus flower) is an IKEA lamp (costing P2,100 in Ikea Makati retailer), the painting I bought in Greenhills a few months ago (I originally planned on buying a painting with blue and green as dominant colors for my bedroom but the allure of the jewel tones and reds made me purchase this). I covered a piece of glass found in the apartment with black sticky paper (I don't know what this is called but it is generally used for lining drawers and cabinets).

I also like some modern metal musician figures I bought from Landmark (I think about P200 each).





The black jars I bought from One Price in Waltermart Makati for P99 each. I just love jars with the metal thingy for lock. I use the three for storing my coffee sachets, coffee stirrers and iced tea powder.

I also added shelf near my refrigerator and used this to store and display my Melaware plates (they would not fit in my dish rack).



I bought the shelf wood from SM, sawed some part off to get the appropriate length. I bought the "terrace" wood from Japan Home Center, drilled holes in the shelf wood and put the "terrace columns" in the holes.

Long before I took these pictures, I realized that something's wrong with the orchid flower. Only upon looking at interior design magazines late last night did I realize that the flower needs to be bent a little (rather than pointing straight up).



Right now, I'm still not satisfied completely with the apartment. I will add another set of shelves near my bedroom door. After completing the living room/kitchen/bedroom floor, I'll be doing the top floor which has the bathroom, a walk-in closet (actually a small room where I put all my clothes) and a roofed outside space for doing laundry and as an additional storage space.

I went to Evangelista last Sunday to look for some stuff that I can use. I found nothing. Most of the items sold there are like really old, or are Victorian in style (which is not my style).

I also went to the antique arcade in Kamuning (near EDSA). I only liked some classical sculptures (head of David by Michaelangelo, a bust of a Roman Emperor or a Greek/Roman god, busts of some other Greek/Roman deities or historical people). I liked a sculpture of two bearded men wrestling but I found it too gay. The men were naked and one guy is holding the other's sizable penis in his hand. Too much of a giveaway.

When doing and reading for my "top design" work, I realized:

1. Interior design is not cheap.
2. Minimizing (or hiding clutter) is the best way to go.
3. Buying small tchotchkes is not a good practice. They clutter a space and makes a small space even seem smaller. Buy select pieces in the appropriate size. As for me, I'll just be saving to buy paintings and sculptures that I like.

This long weekend, I'll be coming back to Ikea Makati (Ikea Kamias is a big disappointment - not too many products sold), going to Dapital arcade (in QC) and probably to Megamall, Greenhills and Tiendesitas.

The "Hottest" Royals

Velvet channel featured a show called on hottest royals today.

Of course, Prince Harry and Prince William are at the top but they're sooo exposed that I lost interest in them.

Among the list are Prince Andrea of Monaco (who I think is HOT). His family is worth more than the Royal Family of UK ($1.2 billion compared to $600 million of the English royal family).

Then there's this prince of Sweden (I forgot the name). Who looks good in some pictures, not in others.

Then there's Prince Azim of Brunei. He hosted a lavish birthday party in London (inviting celebrities and models), he gave a jewellery costing almost $4 million dollar to Mariah Carey, he designs luggage. These, with the way he looks, got my gaydar sounding off. It's ironic that he is called a "playboy prince". Hmmmm.

Project Runway Villains and Favorites

Like any other reality shows, Project Runway has its villains:

Season 1 saw Wendy Pepper (a 40-something mom from Middleburg, Virginia). I think the biggest mistake of Wendy is having a "strategy" that involves feigning closeness with fellow designers and learning their weaknesses in the hope of using those weaknesses later in the show. Had she been in Survivor, that strategy would have worked but hey, this is a reality show that judges based on talent and creativity. It's not surprising that viewers and other contestants detest her. She went on to finish third in the final runway show.

Season 2 saw Santino Rice (a designer from Los Angeles) who has a very strong point of view - in design and attitude. He argued very strongly with Nina Garcia (fashion editor of Elle magazine) on the lingerie collection challenge. His works are edgy but sometimes (especially during the middle of the series) goes beyond the boundary of taste and commercial viability. He went on to finish third in the final runway show (behind Chloe Dao and cutie Daniel Vosovic). I think his biggest mistake is losing his point of view for his collection. He was put there on the top 3 because of his point of view as a fashion designer but he lost so much of his personality in the final show that it was boring. Also, without the rags of clothes in his clothes, the wrong fit of the garments was readily apparent.

Season 3 had Jeffrey Sabelia and Zuleman something. Jeffrey won the show while Zuleman got eliminated in the middle episodes. Jeffrey is not as villainous as Wendy and Santino but I think he lacks tact and patience. Zuleman has a very strong personality which sometimes conflicted with fellow designers.

Season 4 had Christian Siriano. He's the least villainous of all and the most talented (but needs refinement in taste). He won season 4 (which I believe handsome Rami Kashou should have won). Christian is more of annoying and tactless rather than villainous.

Except for Christian, I believe the common thread between these people are the desperation (often coupled with questionable talent) to get to Bryant Park. For Santino and Jeffrey, I understand where they're coming from: Santino had a really bad time as a designer and went serious depression after his collection (prior to Project Runway) bombed. Jeffrey Sabelia was a drug addict in his younger days and is mending his ways. For Wendy, I believe her reason is that she is the oldest among the designers and needs the chance really badly in order to get noticed before her time ends. Still this is no reason not to be nice with other designers.

Of course I also have my favorites: Kara Saun (so talented, impeccable finishing) of season 1; cutie Daniel Vosovic (season 2); humble Mychael Knight (season 3); and handsome Rami Kashou of season 4.

Guys from Project Runway

I've watched Project Runway seasons 1 to 4 and I must say that I am impressed by the designers.

I particularly like two guys: Rami Kashou (season 4) and Daniel Vosovic (season 2). They are cute and talented designers and in my mind, I've already made a scenerio where they are together (like together in a romantic kind of way) and oohh, hot hot hot.



Rami Kashou is a called the master of drapery because he performs clothes with beautiful draping. He was born in Jerusalem to a Jordanian mother (a Ms. Jordan in her time) and I must say that he looks hot.



Daniel Vosovic is an America-born guy (don't know why the surname though). He is talented, young and such a cutie (I have a thing for guys who can pull off a long hair). He is such a talented designer with a refined taste level (unlike Christian Siriano who is young and talented but whose taste needs a little refinement).

Of course, there's Robert Plotkin of season 1:



He's also hot (and straight) but not as talented as the previous two.

Then there's Mario Cadenas:



He's a Venezuelan-born designer (or was he born in America but with Venezuelan roots) who was in season 1 of project runway. He got eliminated early on in the show but he's hot, owing to his Latino roots.

There are other guys who I find worth mentioning: Jack McEnroth (who had to leave the season 4 series because of HIV-inflicted health problems), Daniel Franco (claims to be straight, eliminated in first episode of season 1, went back for season 2 and eliminated but with head held high), and Ricky Lizalde (season 4).

Of course, with a show like Project Runway, it is expected that most of the guys are gay (hello! this is fashion designing) but it's ok. I love the guys just the same.

I'll be starting season 5 this weekend. Who's gonna be the hottie this time?

Household Project

I finally decided not to buy a new table for my apartment. Instead I used my bed table (not sure if that is how it's called but it is used to serve as a table while you are lying in bed), removed its leg (stand) and put it on top of my two old bookcases. I bought some accessories, put curtains in between kitchen and living space and voila! Finally got a new setting.

Least Favorite State in the US

The United States of America has 50 states plus the District of Columbia. I can't enumerate each of the states but I do know that of the 50 states, California has the most number of electoral votes (55 during last election) followed by Texas (I think around 34 electoral votes).

If asked about my favorite state, it will be a toss up between New York and California. Both states figure much in entertainment, both are generally liberal in attitude, both are Democrat-leaning. New York is the financial capital of the US (or even the world) while California has a nice weather.

If asked about my least favorite state, it would be a resounding Texas! for several reasons:

(a) Texas is a Republican state - I do not like Republicans because of its conservative views (on gay marriage, abortion, stem cell research) and every election, its main campaign tactic seem to be to divide the United States based on religion and morals and not on real national issues(especially now with hard right Republicans getting the upper hand in Republican leadership). I like the Democratic Party with its more liberal view on gay marriage and stem cell reseach (abortion I still do not like) and its emphasis on education, health care and culture.
(a.1) Texas is a conservative state
(a.2) Texas is generally anti-gay marriage
(a.3) George W. Bush (one of the most reviled US President) is from Texas.

(b) Texas is associated with cowboys - I do not like a society that thrives on machismo, and Westerns (movies that is - always associated with cowboys) is a patriarchal society. That's why I don't like Clint Eastwood (btw, Clint Eastwood is a Republican and supported McCain last election).

(c) Texas is rich in oil - Oil is important, but I associate oil with greedy executives, destruction of the environment (through oil extraction and carbon emission) and generally, the rise in the prices of almost everything else. (On the same note, I don't like member nations of OPEC).

(d) Texas is hot - I do not like hot places. The heat of the Philippines is enough.

Had McCain won the last election, Arizona would be my second least favorite state. It's almost the same as Texas (Republican-leaning, associated with cowboys and hot).

Tablesetting

I'm still not over my "Top Design" phase. I couldn't sleep last night so I got up and prepared a table setting using my Melaware plates, white foldable plastic table, plastic sunflowers and a few other things in my house.

I made a tablesetting which is not exactly a table you will find in a regular home. Probably in a mall display, Melaware advertisement or (dreaming high) a showcase house (model units) or magazines.

Friend-ster

A few years ago, friendster is the default social networking site for all the world (so popular that the site was restricted by the IT in my previous company). Then came myspace and multiply. And now facebook.

I have an account with friendster, multiply and facebook. I check facebook more or less regularly. Multiply and friendster, once in a while. Multiply and friendster doesn't seem to have much going on. For multiply, I only check and read some of my friend's posts. For friendster, nothing. Just checking for old time's sake. For me, I keep my account in friendster for old time's sake, for some friends and the boyfriend who doesn't have facebook. Seriously, does friendster have any plans for its site? Looks like Friendster now is braindead and just being kept alive by users like me for sentimental reasons. When are we going to pull the plug and let it die?

Flower Arrangements

Just recently, I watched a show called "Top Design" which is a reality show like Project Runway but instead of fashion designers, the contestants are interior designers. The episode I watched is the triathlon and one of the legs of the triathlon is table setting. One of the contestants set this table arrangement:



I was inspired by the arrangements, especially by the flower centerpieces that I thought of buying a proper dining table with chairs and do a full table setting (including flower centerpieces, table runners, plates and spoons displayed on the table). However, I couldn't find a table small enough to fit in my already crowded apartment and inexpensive enough that I don't have to shell big bucks. The table I was eyeing in Shopwise was already sold out. I contented myself with doing flower arrangements. I made the following flower arrangement (or merely just flower positioning) for a foldable coffee table.



I also made a very simple arrangement of sunflowers for my room to be placed near my TV.



This afternoon while walking in SM Makati, I chanced upon this square plastic leaves and I liked the design (sort of like ivy on walls) and bought three pieces. I then bought some plastic flowers from Landmark.

On reaching home and on being free from other stuff, I made this arrangement which I am proud of (I sent a picture through MMS to a dear friend in Channel Island and to another friend). This arrangement now proudly hangs in my bedroom door.



Made me think that I am so gay to derive pleasure from arranging flowers. =)

The Mystery of the Straight Man

Growing up, I knew all too well that I am different from other guys. I never liked basketball and other contact sports, I love flowers, I have more girl playmates than boy playmates, and my left foot always rose up whenever I do a badminton serve. I was extremely good in school and in my elementary school, everyone from number 2 to number 10 was a girl or one gay boy (as I remember).

Because of these, I have difficulty relating to straight guys my age. Even in high school, my close guy friends were the ones that others would doubt as straight or would simply label as gay.

As such, the straight guy has always been a mystery to me. Most of the times, when I am riding in a jeepney and there's a cute straight guy on board, I always wonder what that straight guy is thinking about. Is he thinking about sex? Is he thinking about his girlfriend/s? Videogames? Personal finances? Or is he thinking about the same things I am thinking?

I think because a straight guy is a total mystery to me, I do feel more attractive to them. And wishes that one gorgeous straight guy would fall in love with me and we would spend romantic days together. Just wishes and dreams. They will never come true. And I don't want to set up a scholarship fund just for it to come true. I only want to be romantically involved with someone I consider an equal or just a little bit better: intellectually, financially, but a lllooootttt better physically. I can dream...

Dream Interpretation

In my search to understand what my recurring dreams mean, I found in google this site (www.dreammoods.com) which I found to be somehow accurate and helpful.

=RECURRING DREAMS==========================
Most dreams contain messages that serve to teach us something about ourselves. Unfortunately many a times we forget what we dream about as we go about our daily routine. With recurring dreams, the message may be so important and/or powerful that it just will not go away. The frequent repetition of such dreams forces you to pay attention and confront the dream. The dream is trying desperately to tell you something. Such dreams are often nightmarish or frightening in their content, which also helps you to take notice and pay attention to them.

Recurring dreams are quite common and are often triggered by a certain life situation or a problem that keeps coming back again and again. These dreams may recur daily, once a week, or once a month, but whatever the frequency, there is little variation in the dream content itself. It usually points to a personal weakness, fear, or your inability to cope with something in your life - past or present.

The repetitive patterns in your dream can reveal some of the most valuable information on yourself. It may point to a conflict, situation or matter in your waking life that remains unresolved or unsettled. Or some urgent underlying message in your unconscious is demanding to be understood.


This seems to be so true since my dreams these days have become recurring with some strong identifiable elements. Considering the elements and their interpretation makes everything spot on.


=BEING NAKED=====================================
So you are going about your normal routine - going to work, waiting for the bus, or just walking down the street - when you suddenly realize that you are stark naked. Dreaming that you are completely or partially naked is very common. Nudity symbolizes a variety of things depending on your real life situation.

Becoming mortified at the realization that you are naked in public, reflects your vulnerability or feelings of shamefulness. You may be hiding something and are afraid that others can see right through you. Metaphorically, clothes are a means of concealment. Depending on the type of clothes you wear, you can hide your identity or be someone else. But without them, everything is hanging out for all to see. You are exposed and left without any defenses. Thus your naked dream may be telling you that you are trying to be something that you really are not. Or you are fearful of being ridiculed and disgraced. Such anxieties are elevated especially in situations where you are trying to impress others. Perhaps you are in a new work environment or in a new relationship. You may be expressing fears or apprehension in revealing your true feelings in such situations.

Nudity also symbolizes being caught off guard. Finding yourself naked at work or in a classroom, suggests that you are unprepared for a project at work or school. You may be unprepared in making a well informed decision. With all eyes on you, you fear that some flaw will be brought to public attention. You fear that people will see through your true self and you will be exposed as a fraud or a phony.

Often times, when you realize that you are naked in your dream, no one else seems to notice. Everyone else in the dream is going about their business without giving a second look at your nakedness. If this happens in your dream, then it implies that your fears are unfounded; no one will notice except you. You may be magnifying the situation and making an issue of nothing.

If you dream that you are proud of your nakedness and show no embarrassment or shame, then it symbolizes your unrestricted freedom. You have nothing to hide and are proud of who you are. The dream is about a new sense of honesty, openness, and a carefree nature. Perhaps you are trying to get to the �bare facts�. Alternatively, the dream may be telling you that you are drawing the wrong kind of attention to yourself. You want to get noticed, but are going about it the wrong way.


This is so true. I have been secretive of my other life (being in the closet) that there are very few people with whom I have confided this (less than 10). For the longest time, I have this apprehension that sometime I will be found out, especially by my family members. Of course I know that they know (my mother stopped asking about me getting married and in some cases have to come to answer others' queries on when I will be married) but we have not talked about it. As of now, I am still anxious of having a confrontation with my family where they will ask me pointblank if I'm gay or not.

Somehow, this inability to share a very important part of me with others has impeded my ability to be closes to other people. Of course I have my reasons, among them that I come from a religious family and that I work in accounting, a generally conservative and competitive field but is filled with so many gays (I mean, all the major accounting firms must have a higher-than-average gay percentage).


=TEST DREAMS====================================
To dream that you are taking an exam, indicates that you are being put to the test or being scrutinized in some way.�Such dreams highlight your feelings of being anxious and agitated. You may find that you cannot answer any of the questions on the test or that the test is in some foreign language. Is time running out and you find that you can not complete the exam in the allowed time? Or are you late to the exam? Does your pencil keep breaking during the exam? Such factors contribute to you failing this test. These dreams usually have to do with your self-esteem and confidence or your lack of. You are worried that you are not making the grade and measuring up to other people's expectations of you. You may also experience the fear of not being accepted, not being prepared, or not being good enough. You feel nervous, insecure and tend to believe the worst about yourself.

These dreams also suggest that you may feel unprepared for a challenge. Rarely, are these dreams about the content of the test, but rather the process and how you are feeling during the exam taking process. Generally, you feel distressed and frustrated. These feelings may parallel how you are feeling in a particular challenge or situation in your waking like.

Dreams of this nature are also an indication that you are being judged and this dream is a signal for you to examine an aspect of yourself that you may have been neglecting and need to pay attention to. You may harbor some guilt because of your neglect in preparation for a school exam, meeting, business project, or some challenge. Most of the time, though, people who have such dreams are unlikely to fail a test in real life. This dream goes back to their fear and own anxiety that they may not meet other's standards of them. They are afraid to let others down.�


This is again true. In some of my recurring dreams, I have school test which I will always be late for, or which I will completely miss. I guess this has something to do with how I feel about my present job, where I am always late in coming to the office, and sometimes missing importatn meetings with our corporate office. I also feel that somehow, I do not live up to the high expectations of my boss, no matter how much he doesn't show it (he's not very expressive).

Recurring Dreams

Today I woke up late again. Before I woke up and during the time between wakefulness and sleep, I had a dream. This is a different dream from my previous ones but there are some recurring elements:

- I dreamed that again, I am looking for a place to take a shower. This is the element that is usually present in my dreams. Before, I was looking for a place to take a shower in a place with thick walls (similar to Intramuros) and I couldn't take a shower near a manual deepwell pump. This time, I've been through several houses and somehow couldn't find a place to take a shower. Maybe it's because I take a bath in the nude and I have issues baring my body. Or maybe it's because I don't like taking a bath in the morning (after I wake up).

- I dreamed I was looking for a job. In my dream, it appears like I already have no job and was looking for one. It's weird that in the dream, I was considering applying for work in SGV. What's weirder is that in the dream, I got a job working for a Chinese lady (what specific job, I don't know but somehow it is manual - probably like lifting merchandise to and from warehouse to their stores or customers' vehicles). Really weird.

- I was wearing a trench coat. It's double-breasted, yellowish brown and in a plaid pattern, with some circular discoloration due to the gold-colored metal buttons. The trench coat appeared to be a female's and I was wearing only shorts and a shirt underneath it so I (in my dream) noticed how unfashionable it was of me to wear a trench coat with shorts and not long pants.

- I was looking for a house (and trying to find a place to shower in different houses). I've been to several houses, including a concrete townhouse probably owned by the Chinese lady I work for. Most probably this is just a dormitory for their workers. The other house is the old house of our neighbor, which was torn down because the owner wanted to sell the lot and they couldn't buy it. The house was made of wood (the type of wood slats found in old houses which are interlocking). The house was twice or thrice the size of the actual house owned by our neighboors and the interior is very dark, as if the house was made from mahogany or other hardwoods.

Somehow these dreams are unsettling, especially the element where I was looking for a job. If it includes me looking for a new job, it's ok but I was looking for a job (unemployed at the time I was looking for work).

Princess Princess D

I recently bought this anime/manga series from Makati Square. It's a drama starring real people (as opposed to animated characters) called Princess Princess D.

The plot is set in an all-male school in Japan where it is a tradition that freshmen are chosen every year to be the school's princesses. These guys would dress up as princesses and attend some school functions, visit clubs and basically be the school's crushes. In return for being princesses, the guys would receive free uniforms, free school supplies and even some allowance. A little bit of a stretch of imagination but still acceptable, especially if you come from the Philippines where education is held in high regard but not everyone has the resources to finish school.

The Princess system is implemented by the Student Council. The real story begins when a new guy enrolls in the school. He's a guy who walks slowly, snaps his fingers while he walks and basically what you would consider a cool guy. He becomes so popular that the Student Council President and his cohorts distrusts him. And they were right, this new guy plans to change the schools tradition and "set up fireworks". I find this intriguing, until I found out what his plans were. On the day that the Princesses were having their "Princess Hour" show (during lunch time - as a way to reestablish their waning popularity), this new guy shuts down electricity to the room that the Princesses were broadcasting their show from and ta da! comes up with his (and two other guys') own show as . . . DARK PRINCESSES. What?!

From then on, I lost interest in the series and fast forwarded to the end. Having some guys dress up as princesses is a little bit of a stretch. But having a new popular guy try to bring down a school tradition by becoming a Dark Princess is too much of a stretch. He could have invited girls to the school during school events and functions, but no. In the end, it turns out that the new guy is a brother (or a half brother) of the student council president and they have some dramatic confrontation but I lost interest and didn't bother to understand what it is all about.

This is a story that can only come out of the anime/manga of Japan.

The free iPersonic Personality Test

The Weekend

This weekend is somehow different from previous weekends. The boyfriend went to Rizal, hence we did not see each other.

I asked my high school friends to go out on Saturday and spend the night in my house. We went to Mall of Asia and I treated them to Coffee Bean and iMax. It was my first time to watch a movie in iMax (it was showing Monsters vs. Aliens) and I was amazed!. The movie is just so-so as expected from Dreamworks but it was the 3D effects that wowed me. Amazing. It looks like everything is three-dimensional so when the planets, asteriods and space ships were shown, it looks like they're really floating. And the flying leaves and hurtling asteriods made my wince as it feels like they're about to hit my face.

Then Saturday night we just spent watching Meet the Spartans (a movie that I've already watched and doesn't recommend since I think it's corny but they wanted to watch). It's more fun to watch a movie with friends. The jokes, albeit corny, seems funnier when there are others watching with you.

My friends left early Sunday morning and I spent most of Sunday drifting in and out of sleep (I'm not accustomed to sleeping with others on my bed). I went to SM hardware and bought an aircon filter and an extension that will work with a 1900W aircon unit (I bought an extension power chord with 2500W for Php749.75 - too expensive). Then I bought some more of those orange square-ish Melaware plates from SM department store.

I finally got the aircon to work properly with the new filter and an extension chord that doesn't overheat. I realized just how humid the weather is when I needed to throw away the accumulated water in the unit. In just 4 to 5 hours use of the unit, the water container is already full of about 2 liters of water. No wonder I feel really uncomfortable in this weather.

I rearranged some stuff at home so now I have a sort of coffee table with square ottomans on each side. I really want to buy a house or a condo so I can start doing some interior design work ala-Lifestyle network.

Oh well, that's it. Hoping for a good workweek and an exciting weekend.

The Amazing Susan Boyle!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday, as in most days, I check the news in Yahoo home page and there was a video of Susan Boyle. I clicked on it and boy was I amazed!!!!

I normally don't go for superlatives but she deserves all the exclamation points!!!! I love musical, particularly Webber's and Boublil's/Schonbergs so it is no surprise that I immediately adored her.

For most people, admiration for Susan comes from surprise. You wouldn't expect THAT VOICE from someone who looks like her (she actually looks more like Mme. Thenardier), 47, unemployed and had mental disability during childhoold. For me it's not that she has a good voice, she performed the song so extraordinarily well. Comparable or even better than Ruthie Henshall's wonderful performance of the song during Les Mis' 10th Anniversary Concert. Yesterday, I thought Ruthie Henshall's version was still better but on going home, I popped my DVD of the Les Mis' anniversary concert and got to watch Ruthie's version. Now I am convinced that Susan's version is as good or even better. Ruthie's version is more emotional (as you'd expect when the song is sung within the play) but Susan's version is SOULFUL.

Kudos! Kudos! Because of Susan, it renewed my interest in Webber, Boublil/Schonberg and other musicals.

I'm expecting greater things for and from Susan Boyle.

Holy Week Reflections

Today is Maundy Thursday. I just turned 28 and realized while typing the first sentence that I do not know what "Maundy" means. So I used the Ctrl+Alt+W to open wordweb. I then got this definition:

Maundy - (United Kingdom) a public ceremony on Maundy Thursday when the monarch distributes Maundy money.

After this useless attempt to find out what maundy means, I googled it and came across the wikipedia page for Maundy Thursday. It explains that the term maundy comes from latin "mandatum" which means commandments and that the Pope actually uses "Holy Thursday" or "Great and Holy Thursday", instead of "Maundy Thursday".

After all these searching on what Maundy means, I realized that today is actually Friday and not Thursday!

++++++++++++++

Oh well, Holy Week spending with my family here in Quezon. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I rarely go here, so Holy Week is one the few times of the year that I have to go home, or lack enough excuses on not going home. It's not because I don't like spending time here, it's just that I don't have a personal space here. I don't have my own room, don't have my own bed and with four kids running around, I don't get my peace. It's a big deal considering that I live alone in an apartment in Makati.

++++++++++++++

Just this week, Tuesday and Wednesday, I was too lazy to do any work done, and instead began reading blogs. I started with the usual blogs that I read then click the list of blogs on their side bar. Then on and on, it's like networking for blogs.
While doing this blognetworking, I realized that there are lots and lots of blogs here in the Philippines that are written by PLU. And each has his own story or stories to tell, nevermind that some of them have their sex stories to tell, in such detail, some even with pictures.

On realizing this, I begin to think that what I am writing in my blog can be considered utter nonsense (a drop of water in a big pond), especially compared with what others post. I don't have enough experience of falling in and out of love. I do however, have made some people fall in and out of love with me. But then it's their story to tell.

I have a dozen or a baker's dozen worth of sexual partners (in varying degrees from just kissing and heavy petting to hardcore sex) but I'm not one to kiss and tell. I don't feel good telling the juicy details of what happened with each and everyone of my sex partners, especially since most of my previous sex partners are still friends (good friends or friends who I haven't communicated with for some time).

Well, this blog is an expression of what I feel like writing and not necessarily written to detail my exploits. This blog is for me. This blog is not for others.

SOP

Yesterday, while looking at the files in the boyfriend's cellphone, I noticed two recorded conversation in his phone. He bought the phone second hand (almost new) from Greenhills and the phone conversation was there when he bought the phone.

Turns out the phone conversation is an SOP between two young-ish guys. One is Dennis and the other one is unnamed. One lives in Quezon City and the other lives in Makati.

They were talking of what they would do to each other. They came twice and thinking of cumming a third time. The third time was not recorded in the phone. Hmmp!

These people, so careless of what they put on their phones. If I were an indecent guy, I could have posted these files online. What more if they left sex videos!

Tarot Card: Hermit

I took this test and found out that I am a Hermit. Some qualities of the Hermit do apply to me. Some do not. Hehe

You are The Hermit

Prudence, Caution, Deliberation.

The Hermit points to all things hidden, such as knowledge and inspiration,hidden enemies. The illumination is from within, and retirement from participation in current events.

The Hermit is a card of introspection, analysis and, well, virginity. You do not desire to socialize; the card indicates, instead, a desire for peace and solitude. You prefer to take the time to think, organize, ruminate, take stock. There may be feelings of frustration and discontent but these feelings eventually lead to enlightenment, illumination, clarity.

The Hermit represents a wise, inspirational person, friend, teacher, therapist. This a person who can shine a light on things that were previously mysterious and confusing.

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Reality TV

Having cable TV connections now, I get to watch many shows. I am particularly fond of watching shows on Maxxx (targetted at male audiences), Velvet (targetted at female audiences), Lifestyle (channel for cooking, fashion, design, etc.) and Asian Food Channel.

Watching Velvet made me realize how much "reality" shows there are in the US. Some reality shows are ok and I am willing to watch. For example, Survivor (the challenge parts), Amazing Race, American Idol and other talent search shows. But what I cannot understand are those reality shows where the camera just shows a bunch of people in one house (Big Brother) or just one people (reality shows of celebrities).

It's Complicated - Denise Richards
Living Lohan - Ali Lohan
Keeping Up with the Kardashians - Kim Kardashian and her family
A new reality show of Paula Abdul
A reality show of Pamela Anderson
The show of Kimora Lee Simmons(?) - an eventologist that I never heard of before I saw her show on TV

I can understand some "reality" shows where people go through challenges to achieve immunity or to win a million dollar, but a reality where you just watch a bunch of people sit and do crazy stuff while locked inside a home is just too much. The same for watching a reality shows that just follows a celebrity through their everyday lives.

Their lives are not that interesting anyway.

And I just noticed that most celebrity reality shows feature female celebrities. Female celebrities seem to be more willing to flaunt their lives on TV or they have more money to pay for a TV station to show their lives on screen, or they crave more attention that they want their lives on TV.

Anyway, some reality shows do have some impact. Without Pinoy Big Brother, we wouldn't have BB Gandanghari.

*****

If my life were turned into a reality show. It would be really boring. It would start with me waking up at around 7 or 8 am, dawdling and watching TV, getting to work late, doing some "work", going out of the office at around 6 to 7pm, going to Japan Home Center or Shopwise, going home, watching TV, jerking off, then going to sleep. Weekends would be a little different with the boyfriend coming over.